This time of year i always find hard to get through, i have limited friends and family who are all in proffesions that during this time are very busy, i have never had a love interest at this time of year (partnership has always been very important to me) and now is the time i reflect on my year.
This year i have completed and acomplished so much, but i have also failed at so many things that it has made the small victories seem smaller. I expended a lot of effort into things i enjoyedtringto make a career from them only to find that i am not good enough to get work, i help others in my career line who i feel could help me in return, but favours don't work that way and more often than not i find myself stranded on a rock unable to reach out and find the support i need.
This effects my mood in quite a serious way, i feel i need to unburden myself and explain to others what is wrong, why i act the way i do. I have talked to people in the past but it's usually met with a sound of concern thathas the impression of a casual "aw that's no good" and a "i can't help". All my life this has been a trend, people avoiding conversations with me when i'm sad because they are uncomfortable or feel helpless, my logical mind knows this is why they avoid me in these times, but my illogical mind thnks they hate me becuase i am sad, so i act happy for them, i push the problems back and wait until i'm by myself to feel lousy about my situations.
I still find myself, more often than not, alone to stew in my own emotions and because of the sense of shame people have made me feel about being sad, i never talk to people about this, not doctors, not family, not friends, because in school i was taught that being sad is weak.
Why do we allow this to be in society? Is it because we want a strong society of happy individuals? Well yes on a grander scale that would be grander, but the truth is we need to have sadness to remind us how great happiness is and to also allow us to grieve about things properly. So why do we shame sad people, or give body language and verbal cues to make people think that being sad is not ok, that talking about what is making you sad is uncomfortable? When i air my grievances i like a little sympathy like everyone else, a hug maybe, but the most important thing to do in my opinion is to discuss plans or strategies to help fix problems, then to follow up, just a friendly message saying "hey how you feeling? did you send that job application?" and help out "need some help getting it ready?"
As a society we don't like to be brought down, so when someone is sad we escape, we run from their feelings and our own. Sticking around and fighting means there is a chance that you might reflect on your own life and become sad yourself. This isn't right, this shouldn't be, we need to stop shaming people who are sad, confronting the issue and helping however we can.
And it all starts with asking how someone is, if they reply "ok i guess" or if they hesitate before answering ask if they're sure, if they want to talk about anything.
Never let someone stew in their thoughts, never,