My first blog ever… well, other than for on-line classes…

My blogs always have to be spelled and punctuated correctly and in order… pet peeve and ocd of mine… here goes therapy…  will take awhile, be edited, and be "perfectionistic"…

I am sitting here right now – thinking – which is dangerous for me.  The more I think, the more thoughts pop into my head, and I don't think they are necessarily OCD thoughts, but I know that lots of people with OCD get these thoughts. 

I always worry that I am annoying people…  should I ask people to be my friends and post on their sites, or will they think I am being weird and overly-friendly?  How come lots of people don't post on my site?  Where are all the people who post fancy pictures at?

Why sometimes when you leave a message on someone's page, they never answer you back… ever? 

Then, I started analyzing my friend list, noticing that some people "disappeared."  So, I went and saw that you can remove people from your friend list.  So then, I started thinking, did I get removed from someone's list, or can you only delete people from your own list?  But, I didn't delete anybody?!  I start wondering (because I found the feature), did anyone block me?!  Why wouldn't they just tell me if they wanted me gone?!  Why do I annoy them?!  What am I doing wrong?!

Then, I started analyzing my stars… how come I only have 362 and they are all blue.  How do I get more?  Am I not doing enough?

What about the Group I created?  Why doesn't anyone participate in the forums?

Now, chat…  do I annoy people there?  How come certain people never say hi to me, when I enter the room?  Or, why do some people always want to argue just for the sake of arguing?  Are people really who they say they are?  Why does it feel like I never really fit in, and friends were already established long before I ever came into the picture?  Plus, do these friends want you to be a part of them or am I simply the annoying tag-along?

What about visiting people's pages?  Will they think I am weird for visiting their pages?  Maybe I can do it when I am logged off, so they will never know I stopped by?  How come the people that visit me, don't always say "hello"?

What about the "Shoutbox"?  Why don't people respond to me there, either?

Just rambling…  feeling at a loss for friends and PARANOID…

Will anyone respond to this?  Can I edit this later… Ugh?!