I guess alot of my anxiety ocd is from PTSD…  So I wrote a song…  It's not my typical dark poetry…  But here's a go at some positive "feelings…"  Yay for me, right…  🙂  And yes…  I've done a few rituals though out the day.  But I know nothing bad will happen if I don't do them.  Maybe I'm just coming down from a freak out from last month.  And here is my chance to start over with happy thoughts out weighing the bad thoughts…  I can do this…  I think!  Even though I "FEEL" scared.  But Cirena reminded me it's ok to be scared.  So that helps.  And at first she was being a butthole about this but I opened up and shared a few things with her and she's standing by my side.  So that helps. 

 

 

"The Ride"

When everything has been taken,

And you've tried to make sense your situation,

And you want to speak up, but always mistaken

It feels like your on the edge of letting go…

Remember I know,

I know you want a one way ticket to space

Too wipe yourself out of the human race

And live inside the numbness that you've created

I know the feeling of lost and jaded

And as you are riding upon that star

Someone out there is upward looking,

Wondering where you are

So come back down, we're all around

No need to take a trip outside of the planet

Someone will be there when you've landed

When eveybody you've trusted,

Seems like a face with just a name,

And your shooting words out of your mouth,

While inside you think it's all your fault,

Remember I know,

I know you want a one way ticket on a submarine

Too submerge yourself in an endless dream

Too hide away and escape the pain

And hold your pose while on the inside you're screaming

And just when it feels like everything has been taken

Someday you will be awakened

And if you hang on to your mind

Your feelings will come back with time