well im glad to see more people coming online and sharing..i haven't been blogging but im glad to see that people are sharing..its been a good month for me. i really turned things around im working at night it doesn't pay as much but its better than nothing for now. I'm just keeping myself occupied. The first couple days are always the hardest you have all these emotions running through your head and it just seems impossible to overcome it..im here to tell everyone that there is hope as long as you keep on staying in that frame of mind..This month all i did was take a couple hits  from a blunt..no harm no foul..

((Now this is a response to a comment that MAchina made to me..We all come here to get some relief from our addictions..now when i mention things like that what the problem? you dont need to be reminded of it? i got something to tell you whatever we do whatever choice of drug is our preference there are always gonna be reminders..A song on the radio, a certain place you gonna sit back and say hey i met my dealer here before i loved listening to this song when i was on, there's always gonna be reminders of what we did..for God sakes we are all addicts!! So if im mentioning 20cc's of brown liquid or blunts it should be a big deal?))  

When we are in rehab its a safe environment to shelter us from the real world..That's the way i look at it, when you come home thats when the real work begins. Im not tryna discourage people but I'm sitting here telling people that things are great for me now..I dont have a support system because my parents are real old school they look at it like just say no they dont understand addiction, my gf she just been let down so many times in the past when she see's i been clean for a long time then she'll come around. She is a nursing student and understands Addiction, my brother is serving a 2 year prison sentence and i wouldn't say i have too many friends in NC. These days i try not make my recovery everything in my life, what i mean by that is I dont think about the fact that im coming off drugs i need to get to a meeting asap. when you have people come and try to support you then let em down its a slap in the face..For me i cant let myself down i done it too many times.

I got myself a job at night so when i sleep i avoid all the dealers, when i wake up i spend time with the kiddies playing xbox 360 and helping them with homework. I been going on a 3 mile run with my gf and my dog Charlie just so we can be in shape for the summer. Im planning a trip so me and her can getaway from our hectic schedules..This is how its supposed to be nobody in my ear bitching and complaining about me doing dumb shit. Im looking more healthier eating better and things are just great..The only thing I stil haven't done is gone to meetings..I promised myself I will get to one and I will but things at times get shaky but thats life, we are always tested but its how we overcome adversity that defines us as people..If you are new just like they say in meetings keep coming back..

*if a certain someone is offended by this blog hey sorry get that stick out your ass and don't hate, hate is bad for your health and haters are hated!!


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