I have had the WORST night ever!  After feeling so great last night and so on top of things, tonight completely sucked.   My husband told me this morning that he was going to be gone another day at work, which will total 48 hours of him not being home, and ever since then, my OCD and anxiety has gone downhill.  I don't like being unprepared for things and I wasn't prepared for him to tell me that and now I am all pissed off and feeling scared and apprehensive and I checked everything a gazillion times tonight.  Which is breaking my rules!  And I am so mad at myself.     I haven't done this bad in weeks.     I just lose my confidence when I am alone.  He is kind of my security blanket….so it is actually a good thing he will be gone because I don't want a security blanket.    I need to learn to do just as good when I am alone as I do when he is here.      I need to quit losing my courage!   They are just lights  and locks for God's sake.  How can something as simple as lights and locks cause so much havoc on somebody's life??   Why?   I know the answers……I am just pissed off at myself and venting.  I hate it when I lose my courage.   I hate being weak.  Well, the good thing is…there is always tomorrow and tomorrow is always a chance to do better.     Well, I am off to Facebook now.  I better do good at playing Farkle or this night is going to be a complete bomb!  lol