So the other night i made the decision to go hang out with friends instead of doing my homework. I was really tired at the time but i was in the mood to hang out so I just told myself I would do it when I get back. I got back home round midnight and i went on facebook for a while and felt kinda sleepy so I thought id take a nap, but then i just decided to go to sleep so I set my alarm so that id do it in the morning before class. I woke up the next morning, slept in for a bit, but i ended up sleeping in too much so i couldnt do my homework. Normally if i didnt finish my homework i would just do it in class but then i cant take notes and this tine i didnt even have he notes for the homework so I decided to take notes instead and at the end of class I just turned in a blank paper with my name (He said he would give us credit if we just did that. When I got home i was really tored cause i didnt het much sleep the night before so i went to sleep whe i got home but i had other homework i needed to di but because of my decision from the night before i went to sleep and didnt work on the homework. So now im freaking out because i feel like i messed upaking that decision the other night and now i can never go back to living the way i used to, like ifeel like im not myself but i know this sorta dorsnt sound like icd but i know it has sonething to do with it. I just feel like i should have stayed home done my homework, gotten a decent nights sleep, done my homework when i got back rrom class instead of sleeping and not be all behind and feeling like on the wrong track. I feel like i can never go back to the way i used to be anymore, and the part that kinda sucks the most is that ive been talking to this one girl that ive liked for a while and things were starting to go really well but now that all that stuff happened i feel like all of my work is gonna fall apart because i feel like im not myself and i messed up the timeline that should have happened. I know this story is hecka long and sounds weird and sounds like I might be worrying about nothing, but its really bothering me and i feel like i will never get my head straight. This sort of thing has happened to me before too and usually i have to make a decision to not do anything that was a result of the bad choice i made but nothing reallly happened that night that would lead to an event later so i really don't know what to do. Last thing, what makes me pretty sure that this is OCD is that when this situation happens to me, my OCD kinda goes away. I feel the reason my OCD goes away is because im destracted by another OCD situation (the situation i described above). So if you guys have any feedback at all or any advice that would be awsone because this is really killing me. oh ya and i sorta feel like since i messed up and dont feel like myself and cant talk to this girl properly anymore i have zero motiation to do anything and i feel like i keep making wrong decisions and having sorta suicidal thoughts
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