Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:    The chicken cross the road because it was time for change.

JOHN MCCAIN:        My friends, that chicken cross the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:    When I was First Lady I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from day one! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road but then this is really isn\'t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH:    We don\'t really care why the chicken cross the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY:        Where\'s my gun?

COLIN POWEL:        Now to the left of the screen you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:        I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

JOHN KERRY:        Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken\'s intentions. I am not for it now,and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON:        Why are the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

OPRAH:        Well I understand that the chicken is having problems which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is part of life, I\'m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY GRACE:    That chicken corssed the road because he\'s guilty! You can see it in his eyes on the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:    To steal a job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS:        Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it cross I\'ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:    To die in the rain,alone.

JERRY FALWELL:     Because the chicken was gay! Can\'t you people see the plain truth? That\'s why they call it the \'other side\'. Yes my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay., too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashers with seemingly harmless phrases like \'the other side\'. That chicken should not be cross the road. It\'s as plain and as simple as that!
    
GRANDPA:        In my day we didn\'t ask why the chicken cross the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:    Isn\'tthat interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experinced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of cross the road.

ARISTOTLE:        It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:        Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:    Did I miss one????