Ever since I was a little girl I always knew there was something that just wasn’t right with me I was always a very quiet mean kid and there was these two sides of me I never understood.
One minuet I was this sweet innocent girl and the next I was just this hateful person.
As I grew up I some what made peace with what I call Monster, But the older I got the more this monster would become such a big impact on my life and I wish I would of saw it a long time ago, this monster changed me and my life and now I’m scared of her actually im terrified there’s no telling what happened when she comes out, each time just gets worse and worse and im not just saying this monster just to over look the real me, I don’t know what’s the next outcome the drugs just keep getting worse each time this happens as others would call a relapse I call my monster coming out to play and i’m sure other are the same and I hope I can make it out of this and beat her cause I’m looking at my own funeral at this point its a matter of life and death, there’s only so much my little body can go throw and it has been through so much I need peace and I don’t know if doing it alone is going to help.
I have to beat this other side of me before it becomes the death of me, there’s no more just a little party here and there cause it never goes well I can not control myself I’ve wrecked so many cars and hearts and I just don’t understand why god has kept me here and I know he has something in store for me there’s something I need to do on this earth even through I don’t know it my heart does and I’ve lost so much people I love dearly due to drugs or drunk driving and it really is not worth it, and its so easy to say that but It is so hard to do it.