My mom hates me and honestly, I don’t care anymore. I’m sick of always trying to make her happy and be the perfect daughter. Nothing I ever do is good enough. She complains when I don’t clean the house, she complains when I do. She isn’t speaking to me now because she got up that I was cleaning my dinning room. That’s right. I was moving things and sweeping behind them. I was sweeping under things and throwing away old pop cartons, and because I was in the process of cleaning and the house wasn’t totally 100% clean, she got mad at me and now she won’t speak to me. She said that I have had plenty of time to clean my house. Well, I did clean my house. I cleaned the worst parts of it and did everything that was outlined by CPS that needed done. Now I am working on more spring cleaning types of things. Walls, windows, moving furniture and cleaning behind it. Cleaning out the fridge and the cupboards. I figure I have the time, the kids aren’t here, I might as well just get it all done so that it looks really really good, like above and beyond when CPS comes to do a walk through. I thought that would be a good idea but nope. I get yelled at it for it because “it should have already been done.” Really? Can’t she look at what I have done already and not focus on what isn’t done? I’ve been working my ass off and she can’t even see the difference it’s made because all she saw was a pile of trash in the middle of the floor that I was getting ready to pick up and put in the trash can when she happened to walk through the door. Oh and there was a sink full of dishes because I hadn’t got around to getting them in the dish washer yet. I’m sorry that I don’t clean the way she does. She won’t even sit down to eat until the dishes are done. If there is a magazine or newspaper on her coffee table her house is a mess. The only way that I can make her happy is to have my house MORE clean than hers, all the time, so that if she happens to walk in at any given moment, unannounced, the house will be spotless. Yeah, that ain’t going to happen. I don’t jump out of my seat the moment someone sets a glass down and rush it to the kitchen, wash it and put it away. I don’t wipe down the entire kitchen top to bottom every time I walk past it. I don’t clean the bathroom every time someone uses the toilet. I stand follow my cats around and scoop the litter pan each and every time they use it. I scoop it daily and change it weekly yet my mom complained because there was poop in it! I’m happy that the poop is in the pan and not on my floor! My problem, according to my mom, is that I take time to sit and rest, eat, use the bathroom, shower, and sleep. I should be cleaning, non stop, 24/7 the rest of my life until the day I die. And she wonders why shes in such a bad mood all the time and her back is always hurting. The woman never stops!
I give up. If she never speaks to me again that’s her problem. I’m not her. If CPS says my house looks good then it shouldn’t matter what my mother says. She causes me more stress and depression than CPS does and honestly, I don’t need it!