hi im finlee and i have autism and this is how i see autism

magine standing on the edge of a vibrant, bustling carnival. Lights flash in all directions, laughter and music intertwine through the air, and the scent of cotton candy wafts around you. To many, this scene is exhilarating, but for someone with autism, it can feel like entering a whirlwind of sensations that can be both mesmerizing and overwhelming.

Living with autism is like experiencing the world through a kaleidoscope—every twist reveals a new pattern, filled with vivid colors and intricate designs. Some days, those patterns are captivating, pulling you into deep wells of fascination. You might find yourself lost in the rhythmic whir of machinery, mesmerized by the delicate mechanics of a clock, or enchanted by the vastness of the cosmos as you explore the stars. Every detail catches your attention, overwhelming yet exhilarating, like digging for hidden treasures in a pile of sand.

Yet, amidst the beauty, there can also be shadows. Social interactions can feel like navigating a maze without a map. Conversations whirl around you like unpredictable winds; sometimes, you grasp the threads, and other times, they slip away. Subtle cues—eye contact, tone of voice, body language—transform into cryptic messages, making it hard to connect. You may find yourself yearning for companionship yet feeling imprisoned by an invisible barrier, caught between wanting to engage and fearing missteps.

Sound can be particularly intense. While some hear music as a harmonious blend, others experience sharp notes that pierce and swirl around them. A dog barking, a refrigerator humming, or the buzz of fluorescent lights might become a cacophony, urging you to retreat to a quieter sanctuary within your mind. A soft blanket pulled snug around you, an oasis where the chaos fades, and comfort prevails.

Routine often becomes a cherished companion. A predictable rhythm offers stability, each day painting a familiar picture where you know the strokes and colors. Breaking from this routine, however, can feel like dismantling a carefully built fortress—exposing vulnerabilities that stir anxiety and unease.

Yet, within this complexity lies a gift—an ability to see the world from unique angles. Theres a profound capacity for empathy and understanding that often blooms in unexpected ways. When connections are forged, they are often rooted deeply, fostering relationships that honor honesty and authenticity.

In a society where understanding is key, having autism can feel like carrying a beautiful, yet delicate sculpture—sometimes appreciated, sometimes misunderstood. It’s a journey that demands patience, resilience, and above all, kindness—to oneself and others.

So, while the carnival may spin wildly at times, a heart attuned to its rhythms can find joy amid chaos, learning to dance with the dizzying lights and sounds. Embracing every facet, be it overwhelming or enchanting, shapes a narrative that is uniquely yours—a tapestry woven from the threads of perception, emotion, and an enduring spirit.