Hi my name is Heide and I am a addict. I was born and raised in Aurora,Illions on the east side. I took my frist drink at 11 and graduated to cociane at age 14. I tried crack at 15,but didn't really like it. Durning this time of using I was always in and out of jails and mental hospitals. At age 16 I gave up cocaine because I was pregnant with my son. He came in to this world on October 27, 1993 He was very healthy and I named him Alex. Shortly after that I started to drink and use cocaine. My mother always got stuck careing for my son. Then my boyfriend at the time threating me with the authorities to have my son remove if I didn't change. I got sober and we got married and I had a baby girl on December 6, 1995 I named her Jasmine. (They are both now 12 and 14)
Me and my husband divorce due to abuse in every form towards me. So I got with an bigger asshole. He was good to me and the kids, but when he would get drunk he would beat me. I didn't go for that too long so I had him arrested.(Of course I took him back a hundred times after that) We did cocaine together and he smoke crack and wanted me to try it so I did…and I feel in love. Crack had become my lover, bestfriend and it taught me how to steal, lie, cheat, neglect my children to the point I lost them to the state, it taught me how to prostitute and scam people for money. I used and abused everyone that came in my path. Also there where many times I was beaten, stab, shot  and rape by several men. Everything caught up to me. I was faceing three years in IDOC (Prison) and my rights where being terminated, so I said to the judge…just take me please. I went out with no sleep for six nights, had not ate in five days, just got stab six times…I was ready to surrender. I got day for day so the time I would have to serve was 18 months. Then it being my frist time in the big house I was allowed to get six months good time taken of the 18 months. It got denied due to a past domestic on my background. So I went to school, got some time off there, got into a serious fight, got time added there. Finally I went to a program called Gateway for alcohol and drug addiction. I really thought this was it for me. I did very well. I learned so much. Got a early release…went home on parole and two weeks later I used. Since 2001 I have been in and out of treatment and found out along the way I have sever mental problems. This is hard. Why can't I just kick this shit. I would love to live a normal life. I have the most wonderful husband. We been together for seven years and after all the hell I put him threw…he chooses to stay. I love him so much!!!