I know it sounds really retarded, but a part of me just would love to od right now. I know I won't, even in this state of mind I'm still too considerate of all those weird irl things.

But think about it, it would really sort of nice. You wouldn't have to try to go through the coming down and being down phase. You could just go all out one more time and then be done with it. You'd be forced to get sober, you can't do it, there's no way to get it, no way anyone would let it happen.

Ofc, the downsides are realistically speaking worse, instead of having a shitty few minutes now, a shitty few hrs of sleep, a crap day at work, etc etc for like 24hrs, you'd piss some people off, yourself, people around you, people you wouldn't want to lose for anything in the world.

I guess it's not an option. Leaves 2, go on, try to 'survive' 6hrs at work, don't take anything with me, etc. Cold turkey for a few crappy hours.  Or get some sleep which will be rather poop and have a crap day aswell. Catch22, if that's the correct expression. It's always the same with this shit ;p.

Anyway, something I thought of a few times before, but really realized just now. Never get stuff a week before you actually want to go to a party and have some fun. If it's there, it'll be gone. In 2 days I already blew through my 'safely large' 'knowing I'll have some' part of it and took 1/3rd of the 'safely large' part for the party. It's not a bad thing I guess, it's better to spread it out somewhat than to blow it all at once. An unwilling od is a whole lot worse, I can only imagine ;p.

So, probably 1-2 more silly rants, altho I'll try to nap for a bit now, it's rationally speaking the relatively good thing to do.

NN and maybe/probably another rant in a bit :X

Oh and yes, someone might 'internet worry' and post something concerned or sth. It's not that it won't be read or 'internet appreciated', but it's probably not going to be anything new ;). I challenge you though, I crave new ideas ;).