Were to begin this story? I have a lot to say so let me start at a point that I remember feeling a loss of control that was new to me. I used to smoke pot daily. When I got older it began to be a nightly thing to help me relax after work. I moved away and the only marijuana to be found was very poor quality and also a lot more expensive than what I was used to. I began to feel the need of more. More of a buzz to feel sleepy.. Normal.. So alcohol started its way in my life. A beer or two mixed with my night seemed to help. It soon became a few shots mixed with smoking. Not even knowing where things went bad I was mixing a half pint with the highest alcohol content beer I could find.. And still smoking. Forced move due to family emergency put me back to the area with the marijuana I was good with. Well it was not enough for me at all anymore. With all of this confusion around me I applied for a job to where I couldn't smoke at all anymore. I needed the job. Within 2 months I was drinking a 5th every night and waking to a half pint to stop shaking. Now I'm lost. Lost myself and now starting to loose friends and family. I was a mess. In all this I had a wife and 2 beautiful daughters who loved me. I now have a very loving and supporting girlfriend and trying to win back trust and respect of my daughters. All I have time for right now but this is just the tip of iceberg. A very long story short with the lack of a few addictions that i purposely left out for now. If you read this thank you for listening and I will complete said story. Probably over the course of 10 or so more blogs. Yes I am an addict. But proud to bring my demons to light. For I believe is a lot easier for them to live in the dark parts of heart , brain and soul. Bring them to light and watch them vanish .
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Barely here today
La_Nouvelle, , Addiction, Addiction, Career, Child, Depression, Eating Disorder, Therapist, 0
I feel so awful today. I haven't had any dessert since Thursday. It's killing me today. I want it so bad. ...
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Holidays=&*$!@
BLeigh05, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, 0
So that title, basically that just means all the expletives in the human language are going to be muttered...
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Living Life
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, 0
i can tell that some of you come here and seem to be writing a journal in stead of...
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My Current Sittuation
justbreathe444, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Child, Relationships, 0
Dating back to 2015 I felt my fears and regrets as a child catch up to me, I didn’t...
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Control
Bridgettetay2421, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Wellness Tips, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, 0
Im getting use to it… the low vibe… the sadness and disappointment… the force that i have to drive...
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Im back
LILREDNECK, , Addiction, Grief, Medication, PTSD, 1
well guys im finally back, its been a long time right after i joined the tribe i was doing...
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Who are you really
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Addiction, Sex Therapy, 0
od day sunshine Beatles I see a lot of people early in recovery posting here about their early triumphs...
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Been very busy with Recovery
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, 0
Hi Tribe family and friends, ben pretty busy lately. worked 2 1st steps this week, a 4th and 5th...
To share a lil more.. my story really starts when I was about 6-7. (Maybe even earlier) I was around 28 when I first felt that loss of control and start of this blog. I'm 37 now and really wanna talk about spice. Need to bring to words the absolute bottom I hit. Scary to myself I had become. Just now feeling normal and ready to talk.