A year ago when I lost myjob, I felt the worst feeling of when family and friends disappear when the well runs dry. I was blinded, and at times I felt there was no hope of even living. Me and my daughters didn't even celebrate xmas nor did we recieve a card or a phone call. When I felt absolutely alone while sitting on my bed crying, I stood up turned around and fell on my knees andprayed to God as if he was there beside me. He knows all I've been through, and deep down Im a believer I have a purpose. Knowing how good God has been, I had to truly believe I wasn't placed here to be a miserable human being living day to day. I was respectful, honest and open minded and put it in a prayer. He knows my intentions and my heart, and so does the ones who know me, but yet they continue to try and take advantage of my kindness, but the lord doesn't. When everyone left my side, God didn't. I pray to him with an open heart and ask him to help me in ways that only he knows how it would impact my life in the best intent multiple times a day.
When there is so much nonsense and chaos surrounding me and the mistakes I've made, I'm learning that there is no better friend than God.I believe its time I start thinking differently and BELIEVE that I wasn't placed here to be this way. Thinking bad thoughts, wanting to take myself out before I even began living or just being in a negative state of mind all the time. I say all this because the power of prayer works. I believe God didn't design us to be like this. We all know deep down inside we deserve the best, but life is a working progress. I hold on to faith as if its my last breath. Its sad I had to realize that by almost having a nervous breakdown;but it makes me more of a believer that even on my darkest days, I will always have a friend out there who has my back.I just gotta work at this processone day at a time.