A no show is always worthless, but what if you actually turn up to these places and find you have a lot to give. I’m talking about all the groups out there, like church, where when you’ve become isolated on your own with no real friends, or maybe no one at all. Getting a job, work, employment helps you meet new people when all you have is dead ends or abusive people who wont let you past or help you. Its likely there are people in your REAL family that are praying, watching out for you trying to figure out how to meet you. Why dont they knock on my front door you ask, if someone out there wants me? a no show is always worthless, if you dont show up to their recent errand to their friends house or get a mention in the news their friends tell them your always going to be alone in the house or in the house with people who dont really like you because just no one comes to your front door. Support services knock on your front door though!

i myself am stuck in this situation, phones, support services, work colleagues, i am like an baby just relying on this to see other people face to face but i have no one in my room with me, no social life with people who actually im going somewhere with and who we enjoy eachothers company. I dont even kn ow my parents names and the support staff dont tell me. Maybe in time i will get rid of m y memory problems and learning difficulties if i just learn to work. My memory problemsnow are really bad to the point where i can watch the news every day for a weekon tv and not know what the name of the countries are called who at war with eachothwr. I really do try to remember, someone can suggest a name of someone to remember who iv met before over and ober again and i can even say the name then forget it. Thats my main problem now that i think peoppel know about autism. I think it would help if i myself know about autism and what it is apart from liking routine and having a good memory thats all they say.  My memory problems and learning difficulties are getting in the way of friends, my hobbies like music as i cant remember the song if i rehearse it. Imagine playing in a band live well what can you do if you cant remember the song. I cant exactly work in moat jobs with undiagnosed dementia, autism, undiagnosed learning difficulties i cant exactly go to a college. One person told me there was special needs schools but they wont tell me anything in this place. They just ask questions. They tell me the voices are my mental illness and not real even if i dont evwn mention hearing voices. They tell me that when i see things that arnt really there that its not real and i dont even see things, i do sort of have voices but iv never seen any visions. I dont know what that tequnique is but that makes me angry. The same as when they say “do you know when the voices tell you your mothwr is an imposter that is not real also… …your dad is definately your real dad, well i think anyway.  I cant tell whether theyre talkng to me like im special needs and they want me to beleive my parents r really them people i have contact with or that they literally want to stab me with a needle to let me know in a work environment sort of way when people are listening in the resteraunt that my parents have been impostered. I am hungry and want to learn more. They wont tell me or check i know. One person told me once in my imaginary friend voices that sometimes people can become stars in the sky.  Instead they ask me if i have done my hair again as it looks different.

What a mess this blog is but what i was supposed to say is i guess i just need to welcome people into calling on me when they want see if im free and then they can get in my room. Give an invite, tell your favourite ppl to just come directly to your house not being a no show like you, youve got to turn up to your show, so have they but just invite them already. I dont know where they live and they dont know where i live you cant be as bad as me in that sit!