"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"(2 Corinthians 5:17)

"This righteousness is given through faith inJesus Christ to all who believe."(Romans 3:22)

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9)

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."(James 4:10)

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need"(Hebrews 4:16)

"You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."(1 Corinthians 6:11)

"But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation"(Colossians 1:22)

What amazing gifts our loving God gives us when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. We become a new person, a new mind, righteous, transformed, forgiven and pure. We are given eternal life, mercy, grace and freedom. How incredible!

I gave my life to Christ before I picked up a Bible or began attending church. One evening my soul simply cried out for its Creator. So I had no preconceived ideas of how God was going to change my life. I just knew that I wanted Him in my life.

Looking at the above scriptures, I am in awe of the greatness of our God. I am overwhelmed by the transformation that has occurred within me since I asked Christ to be my Savior.It is truly awesome to be able to see the hands of God working in your very own life. What is even greater is knowing that I am a spiritual babe andIknow"that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6).

My healing process really has had three phases. The first phase was when I knew inside that something was not right, but I was living in denial and looking for anything familiar that I could grasp on to. The second phase was when I finally broke down and admitted to myself, my husband and my doctor the extent of my depression and anxiety. The third phase was when I took the leap of faith and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It was only by the grace given to me in that last phase the I really began to heal. And it is a phase that will last until God calls me home.

Today I thought it would be interesting to look back and examine who I was during that first phase. What did I really believe about myself and the world?

• I believed that:
  • Happiness came from money – clothes, gadgets, vacations, cars, etc.
  • Church was not for me, and it most definitely was not going to solve any emotional problems
  • Friendships were more important than my marriage and kids
  • My kids should not interrupt my life – I should be able to socialize and shop whenever I wanted
  • Perfection was attainable in every area of my life and anything short of that standard was a complete failure
  • I was a horrible mom
  • Alcohol made all social interactions a lot more fun
  • Atheists were more fun to be around
  • The world was too scary for me to handle; I preferred to stay close to home or be far from it
  • I could not handle adult responsibilities like house cleaning, laundry, errands, child-rearing
  • My husband should be able to read my mind
  • I just needed more energy and less stress and everything would turn around and life would be great

It actually took me a while to compile that list and I needed to use old journals to bring back the memories of how I used to think and behave. So, I began asking God, "Why is it so hard for me to remember how I used to think, how I used to behave?" And Romans 12:2, kept coming to me. My mind has been renewed. I no longer conform to the patterns of this world.

I can now look at those thoughts and see them as satan filling my mind; whispering (or perhaps yelling) in my ear. Because even thinking that church was not for me or that atheists were more fun to be around, showed that I was thinking about God in some way, questioning if perhaps happiness could be found in Him. And let me tell you that type of thinking scares the devil.So he needed to start bombarding me with thoughts that would keep me in his control, keep me tied to this world. And I will say that he did a very good job at first. I believed every lie he fed me. And even once I admitted to the depression and anxiety and sought help, he continued to feed me more lies. I can still hear his pitiful voice saying, "you really think God can solve all this, forget it, you need doctors and medication. God's not going to be able to fix you. There is no magic fix!" And boy did I hold onto that lie for a long time and I suffered dearly because of it.

Butnow,IcanjoyfullysaythatI live my life for God. I want to please Him and make Him smile. I want to glorify His Kingdom, sharing the Good News with those that I meet. I want to be an example of how submitting to God is the path to healing, to growing, to happiness.

Does satan try to tempt me back to him, put doubts in my mind? Absolutely! But God's word is tucked into my heart, and any lies I hear from the devil are quickly rebutted with scripture. I am my Creators forever and ever, AMEN!