on April 1 I will be starting CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) at the Queen Elizabeth Health Complex in Montreal, Canada. I'm hopeful this will help me deal with my anxiety.
I'll try to explain my anxiety now (and I definitely hope some of you can get back to me with comments/helpful suggestions). My days generally start off on a bad note. I usually find myself a little apprehensive about going to work. The same applied to when I was going to school full-time. Getting up and getting ready is energy-consuming for me. I survive at work, but I can get very quiet, worry a great deal, have a hard time getting through the day, etc. When I get home, I'm pretty drained.
I'd love to have fun when I get home and relax while I'm at it (living rather than just existing and waiting for the next workday to begin). My main passion is music, and as much as I want to work on my own lyrics or compositions, I just can't spend much time doing it. Why? I have trouble living in the moment. If I pick up the guitar and try writing a song, I'll either think about the past and regret not yet releasing any of my songs for the public to hear, or I'll just feel uncomfortable (anxious) and go over to the TV. Yeah, I can't seem to relax while watching TV either. Even when I'm on the computer, I just seem to go to the same sites hoping I'll find something to put my mind at ease. Can you tell I have a hard time relaxing/living in the moment?
My anxiety kicks in very often, and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. I'd love to spend time away from my apartment hanging out with friends, classmates or coworkers but I'm just too mentally drained to do so… and even when I have the energy to hang out with people, sometimes I just withdraw (again, on the account of anxiety). This has been going on for years. It's been affecting my love-life too.. I don't go on many dates and my last relationship was 3 years ago. 🙁
Do any of you have any suggestions on to how to live in the moment and enjoy life? I just never feel satisfied and always feel anxious about things. Do you think Cognitive Behaviour Therapy would be good for this? Please…I'm in desperation mode. What seems to be my problem? (Don't be shy with your answers).
Thank you for your time,