It seems so obvious when I look back, but I guess that’s the benefit of hindsight. I am an addict. I’ve always been an addict. There’s always been a substance that I have way too much of. It started of as Dr Pepper and as a kid I had litres and litres of the stuff everyday. I don’t really know why i did it. That eventually stopped and I wish I knew why so I could give myself some advice at this point.
Then it changed to alcohol. I started by telling myself I’m a social drinker but then the odd beer starts happening when I’m alone. I start craving something stronger and before I knew it that odd beer became a vodka and a single drink became a single bottle. it wasn’t long before the small bottle became a large one.
I can’t stop myself when I go out. I am that loud embarrassing drunk in the corner of the bar that everyone else says, thank god that’s not me. I loose huge chunks of time. I know I can’t stop myself. As soon as I have that first sip there’s no going back.
I don’t wake up craving alcohol. I’m not very good at this drinking thing really. I need to change. I need to accept I’m always going to be an addict. I need a healthier addiction.
It’s hard being in lockdown and trying to avoid the alcohol isle at the supermarket