Having a terrible weekend… I had somewhat of an episode again the other day… Yesterday… I really need some advice or opinions plz… Imma try sum this up as short as possible, with minimal drama:I had a friend (we'll call him "Ron", to make this easier)…We were close like brothers. We shared the deepest, darkest past with each other. We were inseperable. Things got really tough on his side & he got disbanded by his family & had nowhere to stay. I took him in. He slept on the couch & was allowed access to the house/food with no limitations. Rent free, no cost for anything whatsoever. I gave him many chances & I cared for him a lot… He was involved with drugs & ended up lying & stealing from me. He never said thank you after a meal, he seemingly never appreciated anything… He'd come & go at early hours of the morning, completely disregarding my parents or brother sleeping.He took full advantage of my hospitality, until I had to drawthe line. Our friendship ended in bad blood & we no longer have contact… I see him from time to time, rarely though, & we don't speak or even make eye contact. I refuse to be in the same room as him. Now here's where my trouble comes in… I have a group of friends that I've become rather close with since me & "Ron"parted ways. I gathered at my friends place as we usually do on weekends & to my suprise, I walked in & Ronwas there, among my group of friends. Now Ron knew this group of friends before I did, he was actually the one that introduced us. Anyways, due to lack of respect, etc. "Ron" ened up not being welcome among those friends anymore (this was before our bad blood & before I was close to these new friends). So anyways, I see Ronthere & these friends suddenlydidn't seem to mind his company. I didn't say a word, I turned around & walked out before I did something stupid… Now… What do I do? I will not walk the same path again, again.Me & "Ron" are done. Period. But what about my friends? I understand I cannot expect them to choose one over the other, I'm not in junior school anymore… But how can I be in the presence of & share memories/things with these friends knowing that my "bad blood" chills in the same room with the same people while I'm not there & vice versa. It doesn't feel right…I really donno what to do. It's takenme ages to find friends, as I'm used to being alone & I don't wanna lose them. I'm distraught. What do I do? Am I in the wrong? Why is any of this an issue in the first place? Any advice or opinions will be greatly appreciated… P.S There's no chance me & "Ron" will put our differences aside, so that's out of the question. I hate hime, butIforgive him. I know life forces our hand at times…But I can't let him in again. You can rarely fix a mirror, but even if you manage, you'll always see the cracks…I'm sick of crying now… Plz help…
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Oh man, that stinks. I totally get the need to have no contact with Ron. He used you and your family. (Just a lesson to anyone reading this: always have a plan when you let someone move in with you. Rent, chores and moveout timeline. But that is the past and you have lived and learned). I agree with Camino about explaining to your friends about why you need to leave them. It is healthy for you. Stick to it. But I also understand how difficult it can be to make friends. Keep trying andkeep coming back here to vent. (((((Hugs))))))