Well, my friend finally did it… she has left for better climes… albeit only a block down the street.
Her stuff is slowly being moved to her new apartment and I hope she can move on with getting better with this new chapter in her story.
As for me, I'm alone in a 2 bedroom apartment again. I had one bad night so far, where I really started feeling lonely. But then I remembered that I had just finished a night shift and was on a sleep deficit… that always brings me down (it will be so nice to be done with the shift work in another year :).
I like the 'no more asking if something will be a problem' when I want to do something in my place. I like the ability to get up at 5.00 am to get ready for work and not having to tip toe around, not turn on the radio etc. And I like the peace and the quiet (at least for now). There really is something to be said about being able to pee in the washroom with the door open :).
For the last 13 months it has been a lesson to me of how important it will be to find a woman that is pretty sympatico in many ways. While I could put up with a lot for a lot of time, it is not the best way to live; neither should a future mate have to be able to put up with a lot of crap that she doesn't like either. So, looking forward, there will have to be a really good match if I am to get into another long term relationship.
But that process is still a couple of years off. For now, I just want to keep meditating, keep working on my physical health and appearance and working on the hobbies that I derive pleasure from. Dating is tentatively this fall, so I'd best start getting over my body issues soon. This month is about getting more socially active. Gotta think about it some.
As to my last blog, thanks tout le monde.
Chances are I was coming off some night shifts on that one as well, because it's kind of rare for me to beat myself up anymore.
I was a damn good dad (and still am ) everything considered. I do my work very well, I'm a good son, a good brother, etc. etc… I feel it. on most days like these.