this is my breath. and I can breathe it on my own.

and when i run out of breath, i will not run out of life. because i am sustained; because i am upheld by the only true thing that can save me, Grace. and i will run out, eventually. and i will get tired, eventually. and i will want to give up, eventually, unless i am kept – warm, and cared for, and encouraged. And grace is there to continue on when all seems hopeless; when all seems tiresome; when all seems pointless. I will need someone to let me know I am worthy. I will need someone to tell me "you're doing a good job, ben". i will need someone to say, "you know, man, i really really appreciate what you're doing." and they will need to hear it too. and THAT is what Grace provides. that is what Oxygen provides. and THAT is why Oxygen is my favorite word. and why Grace is proclaimed as something so amazing.

because it is. even when i wasn't sure about jesus, or my faith proclamation, i believed in a thing called, Grace. In a thing called, Beauty-From-The-Unknown. that even when you've done something so shitty you think, "how could anyone want to be my friend?" someone comes along; something, and tells you, "I believe in you." it whispers in your ear as you lay facedown on your living room floor, "get up, child. i have something good for you in store."

and somehow, someway, you manage to find yourself making it thru another long day. you manage to find yourself saying "it will be okay". you manage to find yourself thinking, "i'm glad i woke up, and walked out of my front door, today."

and that is what the Oxygen of Grace provides, my friend. a reason to keep believing in yourself. a reason to keep seeing the world through the eyes of a faith. a reason that you know, and i know, doesn't always make sense to everyone, or anyone, around you, but you know, somewhere in your heart, that it's true. and you think:

amazing grace, how sweet the sound. that saved a wretch like me. (like me?) i once was lost, but now am found. was blind but now i see.

through many dangers, toils, and snars, I have already come. 'twas grace that brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home.

–Benjamin ‘Bailie’ Johnson

May 19th, 2011

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