So, I've moved back to the United States. I felt like I was becoming depressed again and this made me even more frustrated because it was like, ahh I've just gotten over this, I was planning to go off of my medication and everything. The thing was that I am really sensitive to change and moving back to the US is obviously a pretty big change in life. I've just stopped sleeping well, I'd sleep for 13 to 15 hours and then feel tired when I woke up, I just wasn't hungry for anything and just grabbed junk anyway, I was feeling misearable too and crying inexplicably.
Anyway, so then I moved back to school and life improved. I stopped sleeping SO much but I still feel really tired all the time and I'm still not really hungry but I have stopped the crying spells. I love my classes this semester. I'm sort of wierd like that, I love it when my classes are HARD, I like the challenge and the ability to achieve in spite of it. I like being with a large group of friends and I started to feel massively better. It is still a big change which I'm having trouble adjusting to but on the whole its been better. I do feel really lonely back in the United States. I'm not sure what percentage of the population at my age still has never kissed anyone or fallen in love but I make up a part of it. Abroad, I never felt lonely, there is just so much to do, but now that I'm back in college I just feel empty.
Then, there is my roommate. I have 2, both I love very much but the one I just want to kerchop in half sometimes. She is driving me NUTS!!!!! For example, we were going to go out last night with a bunch of our other friends, I go to take a shower at an abnormally early time just because I was feeling gross and whatever and she FOLLOWS me and goes and takes a shower in the stall NEXT to me and starts SINGING! I go back into my room put on a cute outfit and I kid you not she puts on nearly the exact same thing! Then, I wake up this morning and she has been up for two hours but is still in her pjs. Now this is not unusual for college students but I wanted to eat because I was hungry. I put on a pair of sweats and tennis shoes because I want to go work out after. She instantaneously changes into sweats and tennis shoes. We go downstairs to breakfast. She meets up with one of our friedns and sits down I grab a copy of the New York times because I was really just hoping for some ALONE-ness for a little bit and some peace and quiet you know and she goes back and grabs a copy of the New York times and talk talk talk talk talks and gives a running commentary on the two sentences that she's been able to absorb from the paper in between talking!!! All this past week she's been doing stuff just like this, I go to dinner she comes with me, I go to point A she follows me, I start waching television on my computer with headphones in (I don't have a tv) she invites herself to come watch with me and gives a running commentary the whole time when I'm like I really just wanted to watch television for like 10 minutes as a break from school and dance. I can't have ten seconds alone from her outside of class.
I know its not like a tradjedy or anything, its an external source of irritaiton. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I swear I'm going to break, if she follows me ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to talk to her. I've never had a little sister before but I imagine this is exactly what it feels like, you know the kind that steals all of your stuff and tries to be JUST LIKE YOU. Grrrr.