So, I've moved back to the United States. I felt like I was becoming depressed again and this made me even more frustrated because it was like, ahh I've just gotten over this, I was planning to go off of my medication and everything. The thing was that I am really sensitive to change and moving back to the US is obviously a pretty big change in life. I've just stopped sleeping well, I'd sleep for 13 to 15 hours and then feel tired when I woke up, I just wasn't hungry for anything and just grabbed junk anyway, I was feeling misearable too and crying inexplicably.

Anyway, so then I moved back to school and life improved. I stopped sleeping SO much but I still feel really tired all the time and I'm still not really hungry but I have stopped the crying spells. I love my classes this semester. I'm sort of wierd like that, I love it when my classes are HARD, I like the challenge and the ability to achieve in spite of it. I like being with a large group of friends and I started to feel massively better. It is still a big change which I'm having trouble adjusting to but on the whole its been better. I do feel really lonely back in the United States. I'm not sure what percentage of the population at my age still has never kissed anyone or fallen in love but I make up a part of it. Abroad, I never felt lonely, there is just so much to do, but now that I'm back in college I just feel empty.

Then, there is my roommate. I have 2, both I love very much but the one I just want to kerchop in half sometimes. She is driving me NUTS!!!!! For example, we were going to go out last night with a bunch of our other friends, I go to take a shower at an abnormally early time just because I was feeling gross and whatever and she FOLLOWS me and goes and takes a shower in the stall NEXT to me and starts SINGING! I go back into my room put on a cute outfit and I kid you not she puts on nearly the exact same thing! Then, I wake up this morning and she has been up for two hours but is still in her pjs. Now this is not unusual for college students but I wanted to eat because I was hungry. I put on a pair of sweats and tennis shoes because I want to go work out after. She instantaneously changes into sweats and tennis shoes. We go downstairs to breakfast. She meets up with one of our friedns and sits down I grab a copy of the New York times because I was really just hoping for some ALONE-ness for a little bit and some peace and quiet you know and she goes back and grabs a copy of the New York times and talk talk talk talk talks and gives a running commentary on the two sentences that she's been able to absorb from the paper in between talking!!! All this past week she's been doing stuff just like this, I go to dinner she comes with me, I go to point A she follows me, I start waching television on my computer with headphones in (I don't have a tv) she invites herself to come watch with me and gives a running commentary the whole time when I'm like I really just wanted to watch television for like 10 minutes as a break from school and dance. I can't have ten seconds alone from her outside of class.

I know its not like a tradjedy or anything, its an external source of irritaiton. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I swear I'm going to break, if she follows me ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to talk to her. I've never had a little sister before but I imagine this is exactly what it feels like, you know the kind that steals all of your stuff and tries to be JUST LIKE YOU. Grrrr.

  1. snowdreamer 11 years ago

    I couldn't help but smile reading your blog and how your roommate is irritating  you because yes that's exactly how a little sister is I put up with that all my life!  I would talk to her but I have no idea what I'd say I hope you think of something.  Hang in there sweetie!!!

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