The other day I got my results back from the cardiologist. These left me frustrated as there really was no answer just more questions which I asked, in a round a bout way the doc answered but even though it made sense I was not positive about the result. So as I have mentioned several times on here about my thoughts of ending my life I told the cardiologist this and how I feel because of a) my depression and b) my health status. She suggested if I am no better in 4 weeks time maybe my GP could refer me to a psych. I rang my GP and cannot get in for at least 6 weeks as they all are fully booked,( too bad if you get sick). Which still leaves me feeling this way alone. So I rang my old church and spoke to the Lieutenant there. They do not come to my town except for collecting on Red Shield day once per year. No help there. I am still looking at the phone thinking of lifeline but do not have the guts to actually ring them. I have done three times in the past and the last time has given me pause because the person I spoke to did not understand what I was going through at the time and was really short with me I felt like I was wasting their time. I thought that by going back to my old church I could maybe see a glimpse of how my life used to be before, I was going on Sunday no matter what. I set the alarm and turned it off in the morning then layed there making excuses until I was too late. I dont know if it was fear or what. I was feeling unwell but that is just another excuse. For me to get better I know things have to change and that I am the one to change them but I dont feel I have the strength or willpower or energy to actually get up and start the journey. Until this cloud that drags me down lifts a bit then I dont know how to begin.
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The Challenge
Whereismymind, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Therapist, 1
I spoke to the therapist. He said that since I have never told anyone my troubles, I have...
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Random stuff
Picku332, , Anxiety, Depression, 0
I know I have said this so many time’s, but this is just going to have to do. ...
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Bullying/Depression Awareness and it's Vague Helpfulness
Atropos, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, PTSD, Self Esteem, Weight Loss, 0
Did anyone get the memo today about wearing purple? There have been far too many suicides in the US...
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Life Sucks
PsychoAspect, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Grief, Obesity, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Social Anxiety, 2
Hi. I’m Cj Jean and my life is pretty miserable. When I was five my parents became polyamorous and...
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Saturday 7th July 2012- surprises, bad friends & annoying side effects
patnatharry, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Eating Disorder, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Sex Therapy, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Suicide, Weight Loss, 0
Opened the front door this morning ready for the grocery delivery guy and there was a package sitting on...
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Can You Ever Trust A Junkie?
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Questions, 0
I got some interesting responses to my blog about Steve stopping by with smack ("When It Rains…" – my...
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Random venting i've been bottling up
naomijane, , Depression, Anger, Domestic Abuse, 0
Tonight I feel sad, coz I know i'm weak and nothing I can do or say will help me...
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My First Post
SuperWhoLock0523, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, 0
Today, I was pushed over the edge once again by the, lets call them demons cause that’s what they...