So, Not much happened this morning…For once today,mom and dad didn't really fight, and we could do errands in some-what peace.

Though, Like I said about mom not talking to me last night, this morning she 'apologized' and cried alittle, I- not wanting to fuel another uneeded fight- accepted the apology,

Anyway, I also sent the e-mail to griffon….Oh My God….I thought -and still feel- Like i've made a huge mistake and that i'm going to have a heart attack. But I know it's not to late to do anything about it since I sent the damned thing.

Now, Just to wait to see how or if he replies, or everything will just become much, much worse.

Tonight we went out to dinner- god, they've been eating out so much lately- and it's always hard to get out of eating in a public place. and this place wasn't just busy….it was BEYOND packed

I felt like a jellybeen in a huge air-tight jar. I was freaking out,and had to 'use' the bathroom multiple times just to calm down, while I was in there these annoying girls came in (I was in a stall so they couldn't see me) but I had to cover my mouth so they couldn't hear my ragged breathing and crying.

The whole time them talking about useless, things and gossiping about god knows what. but anyway when they left I was able to calm down some, and as soon as we left I was better, Though I didn't eat anything.

I was offered a mint…But before I actually took it I had to go on my phone and make sure it didn't have any calories of anything that'd cause weight gain…I ended up taking the mint but now I regret it and was trying to purge that up…

A MINT….a FUCKING MINT. Why am I so hopeless?

God, I don't think i'll be one of those people who make it once they've been put through so much, I'm just not one of those people I feel like…