Hi, I have just joined this website out of the recomendation of my psychologist. I have suffered with extreme anxiety my entire life, and am finaly at the age of 20 finding ways to help myself get through it. It's funny that I say I have had anxiety my entire life however, because it wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago.

I was always called dramatic, and other hurtful names that to this day I have to consciously tell myself I am not. My anxiety has changed paths from when I was a child, starting out as one of those little girls who threw fits when things weren't going the way my head had pictured them, to waking up in the middle of the night to my heart racing uncontrollably, unable to breathe and legs shaking violently, to where I am now in that I've become really controlling and uptight which has caused me to have some ritualistic behaviours.

It took me a long time to realize that anxiety is expressed in many forms, and it took me trying to take my own life last year for my family to realize that it is a serious problem. At that time however, I was on an anti-depressant called Pristiq, and had stopped seeing my psychologist after I had convinced her I had quit binge drinking. My excessive drinking along with a year of hell had made me incredibly depressed and the meds weren't helping, as I obviously wasn't using them correctly. I often describe my suicided attempt as being like a heart attack to my psychologist, it just builds and builds until your body can't handle it anymore. But once it happened things got better, my friends and family realized that my condition was serious and that I needed support and understanding. Now when I have panic attacks, or crying fits over what seems like miniscule things to them, they realize that it's a big deal to me, or that it's a bigger picture and my body has just given out trying to hold back all of those emotions.

This is just a brief beginning to my story. I wanted to share the start in order to get it off of my chest and maybe get some feedback from others who may have experienced similar things. I want this to be like a journey and let people know how I have and will progress(ed) through this.

Thanks for reading 🙂

1 Comment
  1. blindhawk 7 years ago

    I really appreciate your sharing your story.
    I am also new to this forum in an attempt to share my experiences with others going through similar issues…ive learned alot anout emotions along this journey…how important it is to acknowledge them.Its also important for us to acknowledge others as well, i am glad to hear your family has began to acknowledge your struggles and have compassion,
    You need support and love..
    I have found alot of programs and methods that have helped me to live with this disorder…learn as much as you can because there are many effective methods out there that can help…i also used alcohol to cope…it is like self medicating,,and effective,,but not long term …point is we do what we can to survive…hang in there,..

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