Well its here valentines day. I miss my husband so much its been two years now and i still cant let go he was my love my friend my strength. He is what i think of all day and when i can sleep he is in my dreams. How can you love someone so much when they treat you so bad. He tells me he loves me but can not be with me it makes no sence. we were both raised that when you marry its forever. So now im trapped in a world of lonliness no one to hold or hold me no one to hug or hold no touch or kindness. I hate being weak and needing these things i wont so much to tell him i hate him for what he has done to his kids and family. But then i see him and my heart stops and all i can do is cry and i fight to not ask or beg him to come home because i know he will say no and it rips me apart . So i think and think how how can i make him love me how can i make him want to come home and no answer comes i try to do the right thing and let the lord take care of it but its been so long and the lonliness grows bigger by the day and i just want to die i can live without him but i dont want to I HATE VALENTINES DAY. I watch all the couples and lovers and think WHY where is my love it was there and in the blink of an eye it was gone just gone another lonley day hope i can get through it with only a few tears