I have formed a new addiction that does not involve drugs. It the internet messengers. I am a dj on a site called fubar, it is a virtual bar where one can meet and form friendships, a lil like this place but yeah a bit more intense. On fubar I meet all kinds of women. and we usually exchange messenger info. thats where the addiction starts

I make it a goal to see how long it takes me to get them on cam and yeah it usually dont take long. Once on cam I try and get them nakid, and it usually works. Shorty after on cam and nude I have them masterbating for me… YES ladies i amd a real fucking DOG… However i dont have to twist thier arms to hard to do this.

Now heres how it has affected my life as I see it. I have a real hard time socializing with the real world. I am diagnosed as anti social and a sever case of depression and theres one more but I cant remember what it was. To put it in my terms I simply hate all ppl. I attend meetings on a reg basis and  I talk to my sponser and I got involved with service work,how ever I am the first one to leave right after the meetings and dont call my net work when I am going thru shit. Let me retract that I call one person in my  on a reg basis. He has really  been there for me and has helped me see things when I dont want to. He has suggested that I use the messenger relationships as a thing of control. I dont have to put any of my real emotions into them and I can end them as quickly as I start  them. So yeah there is obviously something alot deeper than what appears. that will hopefully come to lite as I work the program.

Ok now heres what I have done about this lil manifestaion of the disease. The first thing is I addmited it. The second thing is I am trying to stay a lil bit longer after the meetings,and I am asking ppl if they are going out to coffee. And i am going to share it with my home group. And hopefully they will assit me in getting over it. I also have made plans with another recovering addict to attend a dance and then a picnic with a nother one.

I hope whom ever reads this can see the experience strenght and hope in it as I do. I have to remeber to keep it silmpe and not to complicate the simple things 

1 Comment
  1. Yaya 12 years ago

    You are probably not alone in this addiction.. My suggestion is to check your motives and something men forget is that even though she is willing she may have other motives that your impersonal interaction will cause her harm.. You are not the only person with social issues and many, many women use sex (intenionally, unintentionally) to get love.. She may not realize that is what she wants but it could be causing harm that you don’t know about.. Bottom line is that we use everything and everyone and we have to be expecially cautious with this stuff… we don’t know the harm we cause.. Take it from one who knows…

    Glad you recognized it as an addiction…may be one of the worst in my opinion !

    Thanks for sharing this… !




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