So I have been awake since 2 this morning and it is now 5:52 am ugh I really wanted a little sleep. The thought that kept me awake was some radom thought about my ex whom we broke up 5 years ago and I do no think about him often except at radom times when something remind me of hime (he we were together for a long time and had many good times). But in the end things were bad and he cheated on me. The radom thought was that he had tried to send me on a kayaking trip due to me being a bit meloncholy for the past month which was very out of character for him because he wasn't into spending money out of the normal house budget. The thought I had this morning was that was his begining to cheat on me and he was setting up time with his new lover? It would sit in the time frame? What an ass.

So this thought doesn't need to be thought, no longer matters in my life he is no longer part of my life. I don't want him any more, I don't even know where he is nor do I want to. I don't know why I woke up with thought and I have thought of him in overa year. However since it was this weird random 2 am thought it then triggered all these other every other thing that went wrong in every other relationship I have been in senario. An absolutely waste of time but I couldn't shut them off and get back to sleep. Ugh now I am tired so thought I would get up and put them down here to get them out of my head in hopes of getting another hour or two of sleep before my day starts.

1 Comment
  1. ancientgeekcrone 11 years ago

    It sounds to me as thought this issue of which you write has not been fully processed (psychically speaking, rather than intellectually speaking). The mind may be done with him but other parts of you are not. There fore the sleepless night with random thoughts of him. More work needs to be done, do you see a therapist that could guide you through this process.

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