Hi!

(Please don’t judge this post, I’ve never blogged before)

So, I have depression and anxiety, AND ITS FREAKING ANNOYING!

I’ll wake up, nervous that people don’t care engouth, or care too much.

lot of you guys can probably relate to that. I know that much.

but imagine this

I’m also PAN. (as in Pansexual) and I want to come out to my parents.

BUT!!

They made a really horrible comment about PAN people

They said that pan people will fuck anyone and anything

I don’t know what to think about that comment.

I was upset and they honestly couldn’t tell.

Being PAN means that you love everyone for who they are.

I told them this, in 3rd person, and my Mum called it

‘friendship’

Mum says that she’ll accept me no matter what, gay, straight, ace, bi, because

‘It’ll change.’

I want to ask her if that means that she only accepts straight people, but I’m afraid of the answer

When I asked her about gay marriage she said

‘As long as it stays away from me’

also, in my life

My parents treat me like I’m their slave.

I have to clean, look after all the animals, take care of my 4yr old sister, ect, ect

And have perfect grades.

They take away time to do homework and study, my ‘me’ time and friend time.

They are the main cause of my depression

I was called a ‘bitch’ by my mother, and everyone else.

Everything wrong with the world is my fault

Including terror attacks

They ignore my panic attacks (so do the teachers) and pass them off as ‘over reactions’

I want to tell them to leave me alone, as I am antisocial by nature.

BUT!

I apparently am to bitchy and grumpy so they want me to spend more time with them

They make fun of me at every opportunity (A.K.A, my weight; which is ‘normal, my height; I’m 6ft 11 and 1/2, my glasses, my face), and they want me to spend time with them?

I’m just a joke

1 Comment
  1. civilsouvenir 3 years ago

    This is literally like looking back and reading something I would have written in high school. I think it’s so hard when your under that kind of pressure with family. Just keep trying to do what you can to be you, and know that when you are 18 you are legally an adult. You can do whatever you want then when you no longer live in their house. I wish I could say that ended when I moved out. But manipulator and guilt sets it for me from my family. I can’t relate to the pan thing but I can with being bi. You’re welcome to message me anytime and I’d be happy to chat. You’re not alone and we’re all here for you. ❤️

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