Hi!

(Please don’t judge this post, I’ve never blogged before)

So, I have depression and anxiety, AND ITS FREAKING ANNOYING!

I’ll wake up, nervous that people don’t care engouth, or care too much.

lot of you guys can probably relate to that. I know that much.

but imagine this

I’m also PAN. (as in Pansexual) and I want to come out to my parents.

BUT!!

They made a really horrible comment about PAN people

They said that pan people will fuck anyone and anything

I don’t know what to think about that comment.

I was upset and they honestly couldn’t tell.

Being PAN means that you love everyone for who they are.

I told them this, in 3rd person, and my Mum called it

‘friendship’

Mum says that she’ll accept me no matter what, gay, straight, ace, bi, because

‘It’ll change.’

I want to ask her if that means that she only accepts straight people, but I’m afraid of the answer

When I asked her about gay marriage she said

‘As long as it stays away from me’

also, in my life

My parents treat me like I’m their slave.

I have to clean, look after all the animals, take care of my 4yr old sister, ect, ect

And have perfect grades.

They take away time to do homework and study, my ‘me’ time and friend time.

They are the main cause of my depression

I was called a ‘bitch’ by my mother, and everyone else.

Everything wrong with the world is my fault

Including terror attacks

They ignore my panic attacks (so do the teachers) and pass them off as ‘over reactions’

I want to tell them to leave me alone, as I am antisocial by nature.

BUT!

I apparently am to bitchy and grumpy so they want me to spend more time with them

They make fun of me at every opportunity (A.K.A, my weight; which is ‘normal, my height; I’m 6ft 11 and 1/2, my glasses, my face), and they want me to spend time with them?

I’m just a joke

2 Comments
  1. civilsouvenir 3 years ago

    This is literally like looking back and reading something I would have written in high school. I think it’s so hard when your under that kind of pressure with family. Just keep trying to do what you can to be you, and know that when you are 18 you are legally an adult. You can do whatever you want then when you no longer live in their house. I wish I could say that ended when I moved out. But manipulator and guilt sets it for me from my family. I can’t relate to the pan thing but I can with being bi. You’re welcome to message me anytime and I’d be happy to chat. You’re not alone and we’re all here for you. ❤️

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  2. morrigan77 4 months ago

    Wow, so sorry to hear that you are going through this. No parent should treat their children the way yours are treating you. I know how hard you must have it with wanting to come out and all. The sad fact is that there are a lot of people who just don’t get it, or accept it. My only advice is to me true to you and be who you are. I personally have had sexual identity issues but I know that my family would never accept that or understand my feelings so I just don’t bring it up to them. My husband is cool with it though and so are my friends so if I want to walk around in guys clothes and call myself by a guys name then I’m free to do so, around the right people. That’s mostly though because I don’t want to lose my family or ruffle any feathers, but that was a choice I made. My moms more open to me being a goth and a witch, just not her “son” LOL. I really hope you can find some peace and find a good community of people who accept you for you where you can be yourself and not be judged or made fun of all the time. Best wishes and keep your chin up. Things have a way of working themselves out. 🙂

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