The ex husband and his son came to visit my daughter and we have had a pretty good day together. I always try to block out my anger and frustration when he is spending time with our daughter. Although our relationship didn't work outI understand how so many people have "Daddy" issues and I hope that they build a relationship that minimizes the issues she has as an adult. I have "Daddy" issues because my father cheated on my mother through most of the marriage during my awareness and fathered three extra marital children during that time (and 1 before I was born). I feel that because he and my mother were trying to keep a fascade of a marriage up that the relationship between he and I was tainted by the way he treated my mother. There was also those nights when he was out with other women and didn't take care of home. There were the arguments I had to witness, and my mother crying because of what he had done. In my mind I think that if they had broken up I could have separated their relationship from his and my relationship.(By the waymy fatherpassed away in 2005 – and although we came to a peace of sorts the impact of our strained realtionship still is a part of me). This played a part in my decision to push for a divorce.I didn't want my child to feel a need to "take sides" in a drama between he and I. Now that we are divorced, we are two separateentities.I can imagine that my kid will have some issues because she wasn't raised with the both of us but I hope that at least she can build a strong relationship with her father and eventually come to understand and appreciate that sometimes people work better together when they are apart.
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