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Oh Me. Oh My.
Life is and has been a struggle. I have lost everything, even myself. I have lost myself trying to please everyone else. I’m working till 1- 2 in the morning. I’m at the point where I’m done. I’ve cut. I’ve tried dying. I act like I’m fine but I’m not. take a butterfly for example, if you leave it isolated in a jar with no air, it dies. I’m isolated. I go to school and go home. Lately I’ve been coming home and I cry, and cry and cry. I have lost my self. my faith, my hope. I smile and inside I’m like ” why are you faking it”? my story is a long one and I guess, its still unraveling to this very day. I am an Only child. What am I supposed to do? I have no one to turn to. I just need someone to talk to. I listen, I really do. I have multiple things going on. I’m 17 going to be 18 in about 4 months now. They say, your supposed to know what you want by then, I don’t even know, what I want to do. I’m scared, terrified and just the thought of being ALONE again, it gives me serious anxiety. I’m just asking for a friend. someone to talk to. If you happen to like me, tell me. If you don’t like me, tell me. If you want to talk to me, Message me. If I give you a piece of my heart, don’t make me regret giving it to you. I have gotten hurt more giving it away freely than ever giving it someone who never stays.
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The whole 18 things a pain in the ass. As soon as it happened, everyone started breathing down my neck, expecting me to be a perfect adult, but it sucks cuz I really didn’t get that much of a childhood…All IK is what I wanna do HAS to be music related. Studying music therapy, but only cuz my parents kept reminded me how hard it is to be a musician. I was dedicated, but they were all against my dreams… And ID really know you too well, cuz I’m chock full of pop up appts and school (thx to fam), so I haven’t said much, but you seem friendly. I’m a loyal guy and do my best to stay that way, but with trust issues, it becomes difficult…Once IKIC trust someone, ID tend to be as nervous.
Thanks, to be honest, I really like talking to you, you listen really well and same I have trust issues as well, It becomes more difficult to talk to people because if you tell them 1 thing, your conscious about what you’ve told them. I get it. Weird too, because I want to be a music director or a music teacher because I love music, it soothes me. Thanks for being a safe haven. ( to me)