Hello, friends! I just kinda wanted to create this to learn of things you’re going through and offer some support. I’ll start with myself.. And I know I haven’t really gone through much; I just want you all to feel comfortable talking to me.
Let’s see.. by now I’ve picked up quite a few mental disorders! I have selective mutism, social anxiety disorder, ADD, and depression.. To name a few. A while ago I was bullied at school both by teachers and students. They treated me like I was mentally ill and called me ugly and made fun of my voice and every possible thing they could make fun of. This was in the 5th grade.. For some reason it really only seemed to hit me hard in the 5th grade. At the start of 6th grade I was afraid of getting bullied so I tried to hide from people and I decided to stop talking. I told myself I was only gonna stop for that first day of school til I was comfortable. However, the next day, when I went to school, I felt comfortable not speaking and decided to wait a little longer. A month had passed and I began to develop a serious problem. It was like I really wanted to talk but I couldn’t! The words wouldn’t come out. I could talk just fine at home but I couldn’t at school. Two years had passed after that until my mother finally saw it was a problem and tried to get me help. That was back in 8th grade. She saw it was a problem because that was the day I had my first panic attack, in the morning during school. She took me to a psychologist and I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and selective mutism. This really changed how I looked at things.
A year later in the 9th grade was when my depression started, and when I hurt myself for the first time. All the frustration I felt because everyone around me could talk but I couldn’t built up and I guess instead of taking it out on other people I took it out on myself..
Then 10th grade began. I developed bad habits and I became so overwhelmed with sadness I started locking myself in my room and hiding all day, biding my time with sleep. My sleep patterns got all messed up. Around then was when I started losing focus and began failing grades in class. I was then diagnosed with ADD. A couple months after that, I was rushed to the hospital after a month of headache when it was discovered that I had a subdural hematoma.. A brain bleed. After the surgery I have two holes in my head that aren’t expected to heal anytime soon. And that brings us to now. Yes, I’m still only in the 10th grade. I haven’t talked at school in 5 years. And my depression and anxiety has been getting worse. My eyesight is affected permanently from the hematoma and I see a big gray blob right in the center of my right eye’s vision.
Hello everyone! It is nice to meet you. That’s all I’ve been through! Well and a few things before that.. But that’s not why I created this. I created this to help you and so we can help each other.
I love you all.