So last Thursday I really messed up at work.  Nearly got fired.  IT was an accident.  But it set off my OCD.  And now I wake up every morning with a sense of dread and everyday is hard to get through.  My basic anxiety is with my new boyfriend, who I love very much.  BEfore this I was completely sure of this.  I have had moments of relationship OCD but I can usually see them logically as OCD.  But now this is severe. Now I want to shut myself off from people, including him.  I am unsure and insecure with myself too.  I don\’t really want to see the end of this great relationship, but I am anxoius about it.

HE has been really understanding with my anxiety and OCD.   Seeing that he has anxiety too.  But I can see that it waers on him and it is really hard on me.

This seems to be a pattern in realtionships too. It starts when my OCD get severe. Every one I have been in, no matter the guy I get this.  I am finally out of my marrriage.  HE was a good guy but we were not compatible, in any way. And I started seeing a guy I have known for many many years.  We have always been close friends and I have always cared deeply for him.  I had even loved him in the past.  It was kind of a back and forth thing for awhile.  BUt finally things have worked out.

I feel blessed!

We have so much fun together,  we like the same things, we can talk for hours and love just being together. and he understands me too.  And I feel my calmest when I am with him.  My mind is at ease with the daily stresses of my life.I want to take things slowly and I want to be happy again. 

I am going to have to be completely honest with him.  I don\’t expect it to be easy for him but if thing are to work, like I want them to, honesty is my policy.

If he just can\’t handle my levels of anxiety then  I will have to accept what happens. 

Here is hoping for the best.