A: I started looking back, wondering if I had washed my hands long enough…and then wondering if i had washed my hands at all. the more i look back, the more i questioned whether i actually did.
B: my worrying and failure to have a clear memory means that I didn’t wash my hands, then I’ve contaminated things and my parents are going to get it.
c: trying to remember what else i touched; want to binge eat; highly aware of “spread”; want to read about false memories; hole in chest.
d: the likelihood that you had COVID on your hands was small to begin with, but you knew it was important to wash your hands, so you likely did, because you’re pretty good with this shit. You even have a memory of being in the bathroom and seeing yourself take off the mask; would you have just gone in the bathroom to see your face, when you weren’t thinking particularly about vanity in the moment? This is a time to move forward, a great opportunity to remember the WORLD OUTSIDE YOUR HEAD …