I am here doing my very best at everything I attempt

So very tired, keep pushing forward till the end

The work is never done, there’s always more to do

Where I once felt expertise, now I cannot move

 

I walk through heavy depressive fog, so draining

The world looks darker, I can’t stop crying

Panic attacks come now, I cannot breathe

I fall. Cannot go on. My kids watching me

 

I stop. Enough is just enough. Too much.

I put responsibilities aside now, but…,

I am told I am a cop out, pathetic

Not trying, failing, no time to be sick

 

I yell too much, everyone says so

They point the finger, not helping though

Because I am living on burnout fumes

I felt not important enough to love me too

 

It was me. I’ve been treating myself this way lots

Pushing uphill battles, I cannot keep it up that long

I meditate when I “should” be working, when else can I?

Such a lot of big energy inside, words, my needs, my time

 

We deserve time to sit still, simmer, enjoy and create

Imagine beautiful things, make them look great

Surely it doesn’t have to be as hard as all that, does it?

When did I forget how to have fun? Lost myself a bit

2 Comments
  1. brettlea94 1 year ago

    Hey there, it’s okay to feel down sometimes. If you have gotten into a negative flow, maybe think of breaking out of that funk. First, understand that it is possible. It is always possible to improve oneself and make healthy lifestyle changes. Maybe think of some healthy lifestyle habits that can effectively improve your thinking, self-talk, or behaviors. For instance, if you were to exercise regularly you will be making your body feel better. That can also improve your thinking and feelings. Always remember that with tons of practice: thinking, talking, and behaving becomes second nature. Thus, exchange any negative thinking, feelings, or behaviors for positive ones. Just focus on improving a little bit at a time.

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