So tired….My sleeping tablets are so shit….I have zopiclone at the moment and I have to take about 3 of them to actually send me to sleep….So I asked my doctor for some more stillnoct but they're shit too because I have really bad hallucinations on them which then set off panic attacks. But my doctor won't give them too me untill I return my zopiclone back to her because she doesn't want me having too many pills in the house….If i wanted to end my life then I would go and buy a dozen packs of painkillers but I guess she doesn't think about that. aha! [br]

I didn't get to sleep till around 5.30am this morning and I was awake again at 11.30am….its now 11.30pm so it looks like I'm having yet another sleepness night….oh the joys! [br] 

I was thinking about my ex today – Oli the one that decided he was gay is it possible to hate someone as much as I hate him? I have never felt this much hate towards anyone..like I do him…Hate is such a strong word I know but I really do Hate him with a passion…He destroyed me and I have so many wounds that need healing because of him…He has taken so much from me and I will never forgive him for that. Yet I find my self still drawn to talking to him on Instant messenger..I think I do it to remind myself how much I do hate him…Gives me the chance to take my anger out on him maybe? I dunno! [br] 

Well I think I'm going to head off and watch a film.

If I'm not back online later…Then I shall say good night now 🙂

Night all and thank you for your encouragement and support.

xxx