Forgive me, I’m new to this whole thing. I didn’t ever think I would get to this point in my life where I needed to seek help, and honestly, it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. Let me start from the beginning, I’m in my early 30’s and I had about 3 serious relationships but they weren’t with the right guy. 3 years ago I met the love of my life. Seriously! Like head over heads, addicted to this man, in love. We were long distance for about a year and a half and got married and moved in together. Life was still good. Once we lived together we were trying for a baby. I had a miscarriage and we worked through it. 4 months later I got pregnant again. It was a rough pregnancy but it was worth it. Of course, my husband is the sweetest man ever and basically did everything he could to help during my pregnancy. In March, I give birth to the most beautiful boy ever. Things could not get any better than that. 3 weeks later, everything changed. I’m crying most days, I have angry fits and storm out of the room for no reason, and here’s the worst part… I don’t want to be around my husband. It’s for no reason at all. I can stand to be around everyone else but him. I’m sure you all guessed it, I have postpartum depression. After talking to 3 counselors who told me to go take walks and try to do the things I use to do, I talked to my OBGYN and he prescribed me anti-depressants. I’ve been on them for about 4 months now. They help a lot but I’m not back to myself. I don’t think i’m in love with my husband anymore. Every now and then I will get this overwhelming love for him like I use to and I just think to myself that it is just my hormones and it’ll go back to normal. It takes time and all will be well. Than again, what if I stay this way. It’s hard these days with Covid and not being able to leave the house and do things we would normally do. It doesn’t help that I’ve moved to a place where I don’t have any friends. My husband is my only friend. We live close to his family, which is nice because his parents watch the baby when we work and we have had 2 dates. My family lives on the other side of the country and I miss them so much. I feel so alone these days. I just keep thinking how grateful I am to have an amazing boy. You see movies and hear all these stories about postpartum depression, I thought I knew what it was and what would happen but I really didn’t know anything about it at all.

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