Well, it has been a strange autumn!

Let's update. So…J turned out to be loser (color me surprised…I should've guessed that one, right?). Mind you, this relieved A…who didn't like the idea of me messing around with J. Hmmm…saw a couple wonderful concerts. Leonard Cohen was divine. I think this is the end of concert season for me unless something amazing appears before the New Year. With the coming of January, I start the new concert season…pondering whether to hit Lady Gaga or Emilie Autumn (they're on the same night)…Maroon 5 is out. Fleetwood Mac is a possibility. Otherwise…no thoughts on music. I head back to school in January so everything needs to work with my schedule (not really, because I've always been a skipper). I'm almost to 5 months in remission from OCD. Max is starting back to training and doggy day camp, but that's not really the point of this blog. Like the title…I want to discuss boys (or men).

As I've said…J went nuts on me in September and sent me some crazy texts…and despite having OCD…I just don't do crazy. So he got my acid tongue lashing and suffice it to say I've not heard from him since. Arrivederci. Of course, this wouldn't be titled -boys- in the plural form if there weren't more. A and I maintain our relationship. It's a little weird, but it works for us. I can't help it. I'm in love with him. His Christmas gifts should arrive tomorrow and I hope he's happy with the way I've dressed him and likes the presents that don't have to do with grooming. Let's hit today, though, because that's where things get bizarre. We're talking Twilight Zone.

I'm on Skype minding my own business and I happen to say hi to a friend. We have a stilted conversation because we're both busy and randomly she asks me if I'll join her conversation with my ex…D. I say sure. Keep in mind, D and I ended on bad terms and last I knew D loathed me, but that was ok, because I loathed him in return. So…here's D. And I learn a few things I didn't know. About N. That's right. My other ex. D and N were…my flip flops. One would say one thing about the other and the other would say something about the other and there would always be half-proof…and I was breaking up and making up more than Lindsay Lohan was racking up parole violations…so…big mess. I went back and forth. N claimed he was in love with me for 5 years. He's been saying it all along. So when D got nasty, I didn't have a problem avoiding him and settling down with N. Except…I don't think I ever really loved N. I think…honestly…it was 5 years of hearing it from him that kind of…made me very comfortable with him and capable of deluding myself into the notion that I could have a future with him. Well…D has never liked N. And D dropped some bombs on me today…only this time…there's proof. Backed up by two of our friends. Now, I'm not with N anymore…we broke up shortly after A came to visit. And N and I don't really talk. However, I texted him to basically tell him where he could go. Lo and behold…he texts me back saying he told a lie to our mutual friends and he'd like to explain it and blah blah blah. I haven't answered that, because frankly…I don't care. I love A. And the fact that N did some lying…well…in the grand scheme of things…it doesn't really matter because I surprisingly don't -care- much. Did I text a one line serving of -I got you-? Absolutely. Do I care about whether or not there's more to it? Nah.

Now…we get to D. I'm talking with my friend and D about other things and D looks extremely uncomfortable on Skype. And he's apologizing to me about things he said and…tons of stuff and there's something he doesn't want my friend to tell me…and finally it spills out. He's been in love with me all this time and said the stuff he said because he was angry that he couldn't fall out of love with me. That's right. D's still in love with me. And after my friend went to bed…we spent some time talking alone. D's sick. That worries me. And…he was more open than he's ever been. I'm not saying I'm in love with him, but…I do care about him. I do not like what N did to us on purpose. I don't know what to say to D. I know I reacted like a jealous girlfriend over -nothing-…which…surprised me. I don't know. I think I just want to focus on A for the time being.

I wish the floors were finished. I want the Christmas tree up. And…D is back. So I'm gone for a bit. Ciao.