I'm so confused and frustrated but same time scared and worried. I have now ended my five sessions of therapy and have to wait for another 3 months if I feel I want it again. Which is BULLSH**. I should be getting more therapy sessions than 5. I'm in need of them. In the meantime of each therapy session I've been visiting my doctor for extra help and have been sort of diagnosed with Cyclothymia. I also found that 2 other distant members of my family have BiPolar and I have been told by many people from looking at my rational behaviour and mood swings that I could have BiPolar. I mentioned this to my doctor and she said it would explain alot about the way ive been and will need proper assessment to either confirm this theory or rule it out. I mentioned this also to my therapist and he thinks it's a great idea to get assessed as to know for definite what in fact I do have. However, still waiting for assessment. I'm feeling scared because I know I have something wrong, whether its BiPolar, Cyclothymia or much worse I have something wrong. Whilst at work I worked a function which was a charity for BiPolar people and I spoke to this guy about it and he was saying how it affects him but he's on medication which helps him and I explained my side and he said alot of symptoms similar to him. I've been looking further into it, because if it is BiPolar, I need to be on medication and therpay at all times and needs controlling and monitoring, however least I know what it is. If it isn't BiPolar then it's something much worse, I've been reading upon different symptoms to different things and I have 5/6 symptoms of BPD also. So I'm scaring myself but worried and need to know what it is I do in fact have because after 9 years of this I'm getting worse and worse.