Have you ever gotten to the point where you just want to scream and tear things apart??????  That’s where I’m at right now.

I’ve gotten so use to holding things in and trying to keep the balance and peace in the family that I have NO WHERE to store the excess of emotions that are happening right now. 

First off,…Last Friday, I was called to my grand daughter’s school and told that they were being sent home because of head lice.  Damnit!!!!  I had these things cleared up 3 weeks ago and now they tell me that they are back???  I called a “family” conference between me, my husband, my daughter and her soon to be EX – husband.  It started out alright until I said that someone was “dropping the ball” somewhere.  Then the pointing fingers came out with accusations and blame.  It was awful.  After we got the tempers calmed down, I offered to take the girls for 48 hours so that my daughter & her X-husband could go thru the house with a fine tooth comb.  That was alright with everyone but it wasn’t going to happen that night.  Okay, fine, no problem,…as long as they made the effort (as a “team”) to get rid of these things.  Didn’t hear a word about it all weekend. 

Second,….I woke up Sunday to our dog, Lacey, laying dead at the end of our bed!!!  She was FINE at 2 am when I let all the dogs out and then again at 4 am she was still fine when Ike (hubby) let them out again.  By 6 am she was gone.  So I am dealing with my heart being ripped from my body because it was so sudden.  No indications of her being sick or in pain.  This is a dog that I spent 8 years with.  Her and her brother (as puppies) helped me out of the house.  Jeez, it hurts SO bad!!  Therapist told me that what I was feeling was shock and it was the shock of losing a “child”.  Now I’m dealing with the thought that it could happen to her brother, Grizz.  He makes any funny noise and I’m jumping to check on him. 

Today,…My daughter called Ike, in tears, and told him that the girls were being sent home AGAIN!!  When he asked why she was crying she said that she was afraid that I was going to take the girls away from her.  I have NEVER said that I’d take them away,…I offered to take them for 48 hours, that’s it!!!  That comment has just made me SO ANGRY!!!!  How in the world could she have gotten this idea??  I’ve raised my children and Yes, I want to help her with her’s but I don’t want to take them.  If it comes down to it, I will but only if DCFS gets involved and tells me to take them. 

I’ve had enough and I just want to run away and hide from the world.  I want to crawl in a hole, curl up and cry till there are no more tears.  But I can’t.  I have to live in this world and deal with it.  So I’m hoping that by writing this I’m getting the sickness out of me so that I CAN live and not lose my mind. 

Lets hope that happier times are on the way soon.  If you’ve read all of this, thank you for “listening”.  I just needed to get it out.  No comments are necessary.