so i have neglected my promise to try to blog daily. but now i will have to catch up.

The last time i bloged was a few days before i had to go to my semi formal. which was boring and i waste of $20. The only reason I didnt go was becuase it was simpler just to go than to explain to everoyne that i didnt want go becuase  I didnt want to jump in on the dance floor and dance and id get left out anywase. Most of the night i tried to spend sitting down by the little bardender serving cokes, and shirly temples. There for I didnt have to pretend to be having fun in the ballroom and could just sit and peaceufly drink my drink, not having to worry about who would ask why im not having fun. And the after party was boring as well, consisting of much girl drama, which i stay out of and just kinda of ended up sitting being bored, and wishing i was enjoying myself like everyone else had.

The next  event would probably be thanksgiving. Which I do wish I had fun at. Duing the weeks before it, to get through them I would tell myself it was okay because thanksgiving would be soon and that would be fun and I would have 5 days off. But like almost ever event I try to look forward to,  I didnt end up having fun, I ended up being sad and upset with myself for not having a good time. ITs harder now to make the holidays seem special because I do not have any extended family anmore, so its just eating diner with the same people i have diner with every day.

So now is the begining of the Christmas season, and i just really hope it ends up good. Except now, all I feel is stress for the holiday so fast approaching.

School is going okay, im not doing badly its just hard to push through each day. Doing homework and papers is hard to keep going with, and I always end up having ot do it huridly in the morning and freaking out beacuse i coudnt motivate to do it at home. 

well now i will end this extreamly long blog. hopefuly i will start my homework soon, making myself go to school tomorow.


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