My stomach has been churning constantly for days now, since I had a job interview on Friday. It's getting ridiculous now – I feel nauseus, I can't sleep and every time the phone rings my limbs turn to jelly.
Some of you may remember from my last blog that up until a few months ago I was a registrar, but had to leave the job due to problems with my boss. They recently advertised for part-time celebrants, which I applied for because I loved doing ceremonies – that was the reason I got into that area of work to start with. I wouldn't be working with the same person, although as it is for the same department I worried that the way I left my former position would be held against me.
I get into a terrible state over interviews at the best of times and quite often end up having a panic attack and not being able to attend, but when the big day arrived on Friday I was unusually confident because I felt certain of the kind of questions that they would ask. I'd prepared answers for questions like, "What would you do if you arrived at a venue and found the groom was drunk?" and "How do you feel about conducting civil parterships?" but they asked a whole load of vague questions that didn't seem relevant. My mind went blank on several occassions and after moments (it seemed like minutes) of silent pondering from me I had to be prompted by them again for an answer.
I came away feeling absolutely gutted because conducting wedding ceremonies and civil partnerships is the one thing I've done in my life that I know I was really good at, and I feel it's my vocation – but now I don't see any hope of being offered a position because of my lousy interview. I'm so frustrated because I'm experienced in the job and know I'm the best candidate, but the interview questions didn't allow me to put that over at all.
They said they would be interviewing more people on Tuesday, so that would mean they would probably be in contact on Wednesday (today). I've heard nothing, so I'm fully expecting a standard rejection letter in the post tomorrow. I know I'll not sleep again tonight – I just need them to put me out of my misery.