My stomach has been churning constantly for days now, since I had a job interview on Friday.  It's getting ridiculous now – I feel nauseus, I can't sleep and every time the phone rings my limbs turn to jelly.

Some of you may remember from my last blog that up until a few months ago I was a registrar, but had to leave the job due to problems with my boss.  They recently advertised for part-time celebrants, which I applied for because I loved doing ceremonies – that was the reason I got into that area of work to start with.  I wouldn't be working with the same person, although as it is for the same department I worried that the way I left my former position would be held against me.

I get into a terrible state over interviews at the best of times and quite often end up having a panic attack and not being able to attend, but when the big day arrived on Friday I was unusually confident because I felt certain of the kind of questions that they would ask.  I'd prepared answers for questions like, "What would you do if you arrived at a venue and found the groom was drunk?" and "How do you feel about conducting civil parterships?" but they asked a whole load of vague questions that didn't seem relevant.  My mind went blank on several occassions and after moments (it seemed like minutes) of silent pondering from me I had to be prompted by them again for an answer.

I came away feeling absolutely gutted because conducting wedding ceremonies and civil partnerships is the one thing I've done in my life that I know I was really good at, and I feel it's my vocation – but now I don't see any hope of being offered a position because of my lousy interview.  I'm so frustrated because I'm experienced in the job and know I'm the best candidate, but the interview questions didn't allow me to put that over at all.

They said they would be interviewing more people on Tuesday, so that would mean they would probably be in contact on Wednesday (today).  I've heard nothing, so I'm fully expecting a standard rejection letter in the post tomorrow.  I know I'll not sleep again tonight – I just need them to put me out of my misery.

1 Comment
  1. ottpp 12 years ago

    Yeah been there with the job interview thing.  I used to have a job where I had to get infront of people in court and OMG, my head would spin, I would feel drunk, got vertigo so bad I thought I would die and suffered from severe migrains afterward.  I never knew I was suffering from anxiety then and now I know I have had panick attacks.  No they don't help in the job interview.  It sounds however like you are already confirming for yourself what you already knew.  You knoew that walking into this building that there was a good chance that you would not be hired, you felt the need to preform so as to disprove anything your old boss could have said about you.  The fact is this isn't a fight you could win.  You went in and did your best, you were fighting your boss again even though she/he wasn't in the room.  I wouldn't worry about THAT job because you do have the talent enough to go elsewhere and do other things, you don't need that one place, or that group of people.  The fear that you may be dealing with is that, this is the only place to work, "this is what I am qualified for and I really need this opportunity" Although the opportunity would be nice, you don't NEED it for your survival…you don't need this place.  This analogy may help…its like a starving dog giong for a steak behind a glass window and instead of realizing after the first 20 times of hitting his face on the glass that he needs to go down the street to find other food, he keeps after the steak until he starves to death…it isn't worth it for the dog and this piece of steak isn't worth it for you.  You never know the butcher down the road could not only have a steak but an entire buffet…maybe that job isn't yours because you have much greater things coming your way!!! Believe it to recieve it

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