So I went home this weekend- left here on Thursday night and got to my dad's house around 1am and slept till the afternoon on Friday.  I hung out with dad most of the day, and got my car serviced, then that night hung out with M. (note: the ex)

I went over to his place about 6pm and left at 2am!  We hung out and talked and played video games all night.  It was the cools.  But, I'm really disappointed in myself. After we got done playing games we sat outside and talked for awhile. I felt so comfortable with him, and as did he with me since he told me about all his problems from school to money and work.  I told him I was sorry for lying to him before and telling him I was happy when I wasn't.  He said he didn't blame me, and isn't mad, and will always be here for me because he still cares about me.  Yet, I didn't want to step over that line past friends and I chickened out and didn't tell him that I still loved him. I said that I still care for him and that I'd like him to come down and visit sometime.  He also asked how my living situation is and offered his help. But it was getting late and he was cold so he gave me a really "friend like" hug and said he'd talk to me later.

 I just want to kick myself. DAMMIT. Avoided telling him again.  Thats it, I'm going to write him a letter this week and tell him how I feel without being overly creepy, if thats at all possible.  I don't want to lose him as a friend but its been two years and he has the right to know.

So I'm home now, and its time for work.