Hey guys. I’m creating this blog because I struggle with depression and anxiety. I was prescribed medicine 2 years ago but never took it because I was scared. Now everything is so much worse. I get so depressed I think about hurting myself or killing myself. I get so depressed I can’t even get out of bed for school. Most of my problems come from my anxiety. I have panic attacks at least once a week. I can’t breathe, I can’t stop crying, and I can’t stop shaking for 1-3 hours. I get so tired after my attacks are over that I can’t even get up. Fortunately, I have a very understanding and patient boyfriend who will hold me or sit with me the entire time and help me breathe. I used to smoke weed when I had attacks and they’d go away almost immediately but I’m trying to focus on school now.  My anxiety causes my boyfriend and i to fight a lot. For example, he’ll be hanging out with his friends and I’m at home freaking out he’s cheating or doing something he should even though he’s never given me a reason to think that. Part of me knows he’s not doing anything and then part of me is like “but… what if he is?” He understands it’s my anxiety and always reassures me everything is okay. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t hang out with my friends because it takes too much energy. I’m just tired of feeling this way. Every day is a challenge. I know I need to go see my doctor but I don’t have insurance now. Plus it makes me anxious thinking about calling and making an appointment. What are some ways you deal with your anxiety or depression? Thanks.

4 Comments
  1. delane1 4 years ago

    mteng98, i think it’s good that your boyfriend helps when you’re having the panic attacks. Everyone needs some support. Have you tried just talking to him about your ‘fears’ and how they’re making you feel?
    School alone is hard enough, but depression and anxiety on top of it….. Yeah, you really do need to talk to someone about it. Is there a counselor at your school? Have you tried speaking with them? Do you belong to a church or other organization of the like? Have you tried sharing some with a leader? –just some suggestions–i know how it can be, just trying to talk to someone.
    Things you might consider, that might help: hobbies–something that keeps your mind and hands busy; pets can help; music; art/writing; deep breathing–or/and slow breathing can help some, esp. with panic attacks; maybe, depending on where you’re located, you could try your local health department, because you don’t need it getting any worse before you start working on it; thee are a lot of suggestions listed in different places, online, and something’s bound to help.
    i hope you can get the attacks under control and be able to get some things done for yourself. Please, take care of yourself. ***hugs***

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  2. cat5 4 years ago

    I can relate to literally every thing you are going through ,I know you said you don’t have insurance but when i went to a inpatient and outpatient program last summer it really helped. As far as dealing with the anxiety,I try to ignore it but that is not a good idea because it blows up in your face. Right now i am trying to craw out of a metaphorical hole and and my family keeps pushing me back down. I used to have the same problem with getting out of bed but i found that it helps to pinpoint the key reasons why you cant get up,why you are in a depressive mind space ,oi know that mind space is life to us so I have learned to live with it somewhat. TTYL

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  3. geoman 4 years ago

    You should be afraid of medications but the red line for me was – I told university psychologist I couldn’t live like this anymore. Weighing risks and benefits you need to take action to save yourself. I just joined and posted a blog on my 30th year on imipramine. In 1987, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder. I chose life and now it’s 30 years later. Not perfect but what is? Go to inpatient for a referral and get better.

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  4. corinnegodin 3 years ago

    Thanks for sharing.

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