I just decided that I wanted to talk about me, how I'm feeling, where I'm at. I've been considering my existence and debating what i need to do about where i'm at to help others and the world. I am a grown adult that can no longer support myself or my family, I am on food stamps , have no medical care, and yes I'm aging, whem my mom is gone from here I will be alone with no one to care about me. I feel as though my existence is of course painful, but also I feel of no use, except for my mom, but I am a person everyone hates because they work and pay taxes to feed me, people look down on me, I am shunned, shamed and very sad, I do not feel happiness and haven't for such along time. I feel like is this my illness, depression talking, or them winning, I do debate these issues, but it all comes back to me and the fact I literally have no life, I breath, struggle, get humilated by everyone, I'm always unhappy. I dread tomorrow. I feel like my being here is just a drain on society, I serve no purpose anymore, I'm trapped with no job, no car, no one to rescue me,lol. Maybe it's time to face the facts that my life is over. I had hoped that i would recover from them, this, but with no help , I just cannot, I mean I keep going on but what for? I'm afraid about what's to become of me later in life, who will be there for me? I am alone. What if I need care, no insurance, no job, no hope, do you know how hard it is to live wothout hope, dreams, the bare necissities? No one is going to help me and I've sat here for a yr. and a half, struggling, I'm tired, I want to give up, but I can't.
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The Life of Shakila Reed
Shakilareed90, , Depression, Child, Depression, Suicide, 0
I really do not expect anyone to read what I have to say or even care that i have...
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Today’s fear factor
Nayhayelizgmd, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, Wellness Tips, 0
All 4 of my grandparents died in a car accident to a drunk driver in 2004 and then my...
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six feet deep
avery@14, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Obesity, 2
i just want to die i just want to be ok. why can’t i just die already? my depression...
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Getting My Permit…
MForeverChained, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, 1
So you think that I would bea little happier since I'm getting my permit… something that is long overdue…...
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Hodge podge TRIGGER
TessErin, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapist, 0
Tuesday 8/26/14: I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow. It’s amazing how many things can happen in nine...
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Does anyone else feel like this?
Marta, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
I dnt know what to do i was extremely happy for the past 2 weeks and this past Sunday...
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Reminder to myself
SaltWaterDrinker, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Self Help, Suicide, Weight Loss, 1
Don't, don't, don't consume the big 5 until you are damn sure you're healthy enough to absorb the interference...
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Update
EmpatheticShadow, , Anxiety, Depression, Career, Weight Loss, 0
So my interview went very well… If most likely be working everyday but Wednesday.. which would mean after school...
i could be writing those same words. with one small difference. i have the job, the car, but i am invisible to those around me. i worry about what will become of me if i dont work. i have struggled with just existing, then more struggles, to survival only to be happy ? for a short time before it all starts again. i think of the different ways to leave this life as i know it….and cant do it either. i never follow through, ever maybe the only one who can rescue us is ourselves by reaching so deep inside for that tiny spiral of a thread, woven by the ancestors so that we can continue on, catching that thread like the spider and float on the wind to where the spiral can continue and life goes on. i am so sorry, i rambled again, i keep reaching for the thread i hope you will find yours peace and blessings, dianna