This frustrated feeling of this girl having a baby is just doing my head in and I need to open up about it to someone as I can't say anything to them or people involved so I need to rant somewhere.
Story is this girl I haven't liked in the first moments of meeting her, my exesbrothers girlfriend and I have never got along. Hasn't been easy but when I was with my ex she was there and I had to endure it or leave. I endured it for sake of my relationship and no arguments. Anyway, they broke up as she cheated a number of times, (she was one of those I 'predicted' ), and then falls pregnant with some lads kid who wanted nothing to do with her so she comes crawling back to the one person she knows will accept her back even with what she did. Everyone has been going on so much of how she's having a baby and he's bringing the kid up as his own etc. but people making out it's part of the family and it isn't. I know it shouldn't realyl be anything to do with me, but seen as my now ex, is still in my life as a good friend, it winds me up watching them and him making out he's an uncle and family. Why's everyone so hung up on this, it's not any way shape or form related to them. You just don't do this with someone else's baby. I don't know if I'm in the wrong here or what, but I see it as the real dad didn't care, so she got a person who would to tie them into the family. It's not a jealousy thing but seems as though if I got pregnant with my ex (if we got together again) then the baby would be treated the same, but ones blood and actually something to do with the family, not some outsider off a random boy. I just don't see how I'm the bad person thinking this way. It winds me up how they all go on about it.
Grrrrrrrrrr. Help. Am I in the wrong for feeling and seeing it this way? I just want other peoples opinions who aren't anything to do with the baby or involved. That way I get true advice.
Well, I wouldn\'t be dead keen on taking on my son\'s ex girlfriend\'s baby from another father permanently and for the foreseeable future, I would think that was truly silly. But if that baby was just coming for visits with its mum, that would be fun. I would certainly encourage those visits, because having a baby is a lonely and dangerous time for a young mother: she needs support and guidance or things can go badly for the baby, and/or for her. So humans gather around a young mother, because it\'s the best thing all round at that point in time.
Also, I would call myself auntie, because we do that in New Zealand. And my son might well call himself uncle. Any male would call himself uncle who was a friend of the mother and any female friend would be an auntie, and those names stick for decades. That\'s a cultural norm here. It doesn\'t mean we\'re going to take on that child and go legally adopt it and pay for its university fees. It is how we call ourselves to babies and small children, as a way of showing the child that this is a \'trusted adult\' and not some creepy stranger. It\'s also a way for them to call us by first name without being rude.
So all in all that would be normal here; and there would be some fire and excitement on the part of the family as they got all keen on the baby, and that would naturally pass. Anything that will naturally pass is best not commented on. Very much so: all a comment can do is make you look bad, or cement something in position that you would like to change. Learn silence when you want change. Let time be your ally, and their growth be unimpeded. 🙂
I understand where you\'re coming from. In England it\'s not common to call people auntie or uncle if there not actually related as an auntie or uncle but I can understand. It\'s just because I don\'t like her and everyone claimed not to like her including my ex but soon as she\'s pregnant whether it\'s someone else\'s kid or not they accept her straight back in and are all so hung up over her. Yesterday no one could shut up about \'oh she supposed to have the baby today\' \'I cant wait\' it\'s not even related at all. It makes me sick because everyone claimed she\'s evil because everything she done, not just cheat but soon as she pregnant it\'s different. I\'m annoyed because say I have news of im pregnant and it wouldn\'t even matter to them as much and yet Id be actually carrying a relation not some random lands kid because she just wanted to sleep around with everyone. I get so frustrated and annoyed but I don\'t think it would ever just sort out I think it would always be \'oh the baby\'. I guess I\'ll just have to get used to it. Just hope I don\'t ever get pregnant to shatter them. They make out im such a bad person because of my issues yet she\'s a tart and has nothing at all and yet she gets everything.