Well since this morning I have improved quite a bit and am beginning to feel better hope that trend continues lol.. I have to work yet again tomorrow but only 4 hours thankfully. then off a day and therapy tomorrow too at 230.
I am telling myself tomorrow is going to be a good day and evryday from here on out will be good . But I have done this over and over and it has failed me in the past, but I have to do this.
For I feel as in some way it could possibly help me out I dont know but I am willing to try ANYTHING,, I have even cried my eyes out praying for this to end and feel better after i cry but then it hits again.
I just cannot believe how much my life has changed in the last year it is sad to even think of me being like this because it is coming between me and my husband and i dont want to lose him because of this crap. and i know i am pushing him away because of the fears everyday. It has to stop and I want it to stop more than anything.
I need to quit being soaware of my inner body feelings and not pay attention to the pains i have and just think to myself that it is ok just everyday things that go on in my body.
But that is really hard to do,,since I am so scared of dying. I love my husband and family so much and they are suffering right along with me because I am not a mom or wife right now. I am just here and thats all….
but you better believe I will tell therapist tomorrow how the last few days have been because I am so sick of it, and as for the breathing tech I have tried it and it dont help me at all, muscle relaxation either, and i cant do the quiet place either because my mind is in overdrive when i have the attacks.