this morning i got up and realized that my sister might marry a black guy. she’s dating a black guy. i like the guy. he seems nice. but i worry for her. it will ruin my parents, who are both pretty conservative sorts of people. as for myself, would i rather have an indian brother-in-law…? i guess. but i care most that the guy treats her right and that he makes her happy. im nobody to demand that my sister live her life the way she lives it, ya know. im just a regular joe. i made a really poor move while playing chess amidst my sisterly worrying that im a bit angry with myself for but whatever. what else. i guess im also a bit lost right now in my life. part of me is gung ho about becoming a professional musician and another part wonders if im running from medicine, to which i devoted like 3 yrs of post bacc education before recently dropping it. ive never been too sure of where i fit in either. i guess im riddled with excessive doubt about stuff in general; the big stuff anyway. life, women, career choices, friends. i feel like ive lost a bit of myself really. i feel so behind in my life with where im going. people from my college graduated and have lived and worked and enjoyed themselves in other places around the country and the world. and all ive done is move to austin and then back to houston. i feel like i need a change, but im not sure where to go. hey thats a great song lyric lol. im learning now that sitting around and letting your worries consume you is prbably the worst thing that can happen to you if you don’t keep moving forward. for people like us, we have to work hard to keep ourselves from stagnating. im so envious of people that i know, who don’t seem to have the same worries and doubts about themselves that i do. i guess it’s kind of a why me kinda way of thinking ive got at the moment. another solid lyric. i wonder if ill ever really figure me out at all. somebody help me, please….