My first bloggg…smiles.

Anyways, I'm new here to DT, and after spending time on chat having fun, I'm really happy to be here. I'm 14, attend boarding school on a scholarship, have lived with depression since…I dunno, a while. I used to cut, but I'm working on stopping, and also talk to 7 voices in my head-Beeee, Ellen, Tenshi, Lala, Katsu, Guppy, and Sebastian. Each has their own personality, each their own specialties, and I love all of them. Especially Beeee. He's the voice of my blanket that my great-great-grandmother made. Only one has ever encouraged me to cut, but she's a good person. Sounds…crazy at first, but I like them. The one time they left I was a mess for several hours, so being without them is something I can't imagine.

Anyways, the problem lies with my parents. They seem to be misinformed about everything, and talk like they understand. They tell my story to doctors, but I'm still not quite sure they have it straight. Neither has gone through anything like this, and my friends at boarding school have helped me more than them. I don't know how I would deal with the voices going away, and it seems that that's what everyone thinks should happen, when they're friends that have been with me through thick and thin. I don't want them to leave. I would die-and that's no exaggeration. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm suppossed to trust them, but I don't. They talk and talk, but they don't know the facts. I think about death alot, and how easy it would be to end it all, but I don't plan on commiting suicide anytime soon. I have a strong urge to cut, but after promising my most precious person, my little sister, I wouldn't I can't. If she were to start as well, I don't know what I'd do.

I love the song What the Hell because it is the song of my life-first ten years were great, then…what the hell happened?

Thanks for listening.

-hakai

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