Well, another night of interrupted sleep. This time my own dreams were the traitor, well ~ and my body too. My REM Behavioral disorder decided to show it's ugly face tonight. I was having a nightmare about getting into arguments with people and then finally a physical fight ~ and I ended up kicking this person in a dream after she kicked me and I actually kicked my poor dog!!! I heard her yelp in the dream but even after she jumped off the bed I was kicking and yelling at the wall. Aaron had to wake me up and bring me to my senses by shaking and yelling at me.
Luckily I didn't kick Carley very hard, I mostly scared her. She came right back to me when I called her up onto the bed with me again and I snuggled with her and soothed her and apologized over and over again. I almost cried that I had done that. Aaron reassured me that she was okay and it made me feel a little less guilty, but not much. I'd rather kick a person than an animal!
Speaking of kicking a person I did kick Aaron too on the backswing of my leg. So I got everyone in the bed tonight. I'm just going to say it was a very bad dream. My foot is aching from where I kicked the wall.
Why is it that all of your insecurities, your fears and nightmares of life come up in your sleep? Why do they manifest there? And why does it jumble them up usually into images that don't make sense? From what I've read science still doesn't know why exactly we dream, what purpose that it serves. They hypothesize that it's a tool used to unload unnecessary "junk" from our minds and try to align and correct problem areas in our lives. I wonder if that's really the case.
Personally I pay attention to my dreams. Some people don't, and that's fine ~ but I think there are worthwhile things to focus on and try to decode. It's almost like a puzzle that you have to try to fit together to get any answers from. But sometimes what you find is really valuable.
Take some of my dreams for instance. I have a very big fear of Aaron and I splitting up. Now there is no real basis for this fear currently, but if I look at my dreams and see how they reflect the past I can understand why I have these dreams. When we were in our 20's we split up a couple of times when things were really bad between us. I still dream about that fear about once a week or so. But it keeps me sharp to any problems that may be developing and arising currently in our relationship and makes me pay attention to it. That way I can feel it out and address it.
I wonder what today is going to hold besides some more sleep. I was proud of myself last night because I took my friend's advice and went ahead and just started practicing violin. It cued Aaron in to turn off the tv and get on the computer instead, and Zachary went to his room to play. I got a good hour in on the violin. 😀
I'm happy because I've still got it. A lot of skills need to be dusted off and muscles rebuilt, but the core of the musician is still there and the sound once I get going. Wohoo! I'm NOT a total failure!
I plan on cleaning the apartment floors today and practicing, but besides that I don't have any real plans other than picking up my son at the bus stop and then picking up my Mom after she gets off work. Maybe I'll try to cook dinner tonight for everyone.
I think I'm done blogging for now. I need to find something else to do to keep me awake. I think I know! You'll see it on your page in the morning or when you log in. 🙂
I hope that you all are getting some rest and are dreaming peaceful dreams.